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Old 07-26-2012, 11:38 PM   #1
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Unhappy disbelieving people

I am sick of people thinking / acting like I'm lying. The problem is with people who don't see me on a daily basis. I run into people and they think because I'm not really old (only 35) and people assume that because they cannot see a problem, it therefore does not exist and treat me like I'm faking. It's one thing when you have to deal with so jerk at a grocery store, but it hurts when it comes closer to home. The problem is relatives that I don't see that often. I have had to move back home, and if that is stressful enough I have relatives coming out of the woodwork to help my mom. No real help, so far they just accuse me of being a hypochondriac, lazy and crazy and try to convince my mom that I am just that. I don't know how to deal with these helping relatives without alienating them further. Nor can I prove how much pain I am in.

 
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Old 07-27-2012, 07:42 AM   #2
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Re: disbelieving people

hi sad friend,
do not bother to worry about extended family. your mom loves you and belives you so no one else matters. as a mom i know i would not listen to others if i knew my baby was sick. of course i would tell them if you can't say something useful be quiet.
you take care of you and let mom take care of the family education. you don't have to prove anything to anyone. besides, how do you prove you have pain? you can't. so don't bother.
one of the most important lessons i learned is i can't alter what others think. only what i think. that i can alter. i refuse to cave to others opinions of how i should live my life. they are not me. i am not them.
peace,
bluelakelady

Last edited by bluelakelady; 07-27-2012 at 07:43 AM.

 
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Old 07-28-2012, 06:45 AM   #3
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Re: disbelieving people

Blue always has the right words to say

I can relate to what you are going through. I also am 35 and having to use a cane to help me walk due to knee issues and I get dirty looks and everything since I parked in handicap and have to use those motorized scooters in stores.

With people closer to me I am always dealing with questionable looks and I just keep them at arms length. The ones that do care have done research on all that I'm dealing with so they know and understand a little better.

Hang in there.

 
Old 07-28-2012, 12:25 PM   #4
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Re: disbelieving people

Do not give them head space, you will not be able to make them change their mind. If they were really interested they would have googled it and informed themselves. I used to get really upset when I got the reaction that you are talking about, now I save my energy for my husband and children and to hell with the people who think they know better than doctors.

Good luck,
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Old 07-28-2012, 04:10 PM   #5
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Re: disbelieving people

Yes, for the most part, it's best to ignore them. It can be difficult when it's the ones closest to you, but for everyone else, such as the extended family, just let it go. "I'm sorry you feel that way" is a fine neutral phrase.

 
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family denial, family support, fibro and depression, pain



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