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Old 09-13-2012, 07:59 AM   #1
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Dh is getting frustrated...

A full two months after I came along and posted 'might I have fibromyalgia?' I'm not doing much better... When I saw the doc he gave me a month's worth of pills and I've eeked them out to six weeks (because I hate taking even OTC stuff and I kept trying to go off them). So back to the doctor I go this afternoon to report my lack of improvement and to collect another prescription.

DH is getting very frustrated with me. He thinks I'm doing too much because I've been trying to do as much normal stuff as I can - which generally turns out to be one day of normal activity followed by a day of doing absolutely nothing to recover. He doesn't seem to get it that the only way I am pretty much pain free is if I lie on the bed and do NOTHING. And the more 'nothing' I do, the more fitness (that's a laugh) I'm going to lose. I count myself lucky - a prescription for double-strength Aleve works for me as long as I keep taking them. And I can walk a mile and a half to church (but only one way)... as long as I can manage that, I have to keep on doing it! Otherwise I'll just lie here and go insane.

DH thinks that the doctor is going to give me something to fix me... he has great faith in the medical profession. And since my tests for auto-immune stuff came back clean and the doctor hasn't said 'you have Fibromyalgia' (he just said it's a possibility to consider if I didn't improve), he thinks there has to be something else fixable going on. But I'm pretty sure that this isn't anything that can be 'fixed'. And that's a pretty depressing prospect...
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Last edited by Kaji; 09-13-2012 at 08:01 AM.

 
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Old 09-14-2012, 07:42 AM   #2
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Re: Dh is getting frustrated...

hi,
it is normal for a man to want to find it and fix it. bless him. it just does not work that way with health junk like fibro. you keep doing as much as you can and take that day of rest. it's a normal cycle for all of us. i know if i have the energy i am using it. if i have to pay tomorrow so be it. that's my choice.
please tell your dh that loving you and being there to help is the best medicine. this is not one he can fix. i wish he could. we would all line up behind you. giggle. i know it's freaky to find out you are not fixable. however, you can adapt your life and still have a rich meaningful life with fibro. i love my life and the fibro that slowed me down so i could see what i had not seen before. the beauty of life.
peace,
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Old 09-14-2012, 08:00 AM   #3
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Re: Dh is getting frustrated...

Thanks. I try to compromise and find the balance so that I can be functional at least part of the day every day. But church commitments demand a certain amount of time and energy, and a lot of the time that's all the energy I have available for that day.

The doc wants me to see an orthopedist for my bad leg (which has got much worse this last month even though I'm less active), and he gave me a prescription for mobic to try because he doesn't really want me taking naproxen continuously over the long term. He's leaning towards arthritis because my hip's gone bad... whatever. I don't care at this point! Just give me something to help me function. I've been sleeping a lot better (whenever I get tired, if possible I stop what I'm doing and lay down and rest and it seems to help me sleep better at night) but for some reason I was suddenly wide awake at 3.30 this morning and I couldn't get back to sleep till after five. I'm much more achy this morning and I'm not sure if it's because the mobic doesn't work as well as naproxen, or the lack of sleep.
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Old 09-14-2012, 11:53 AM   #4
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Re: Dh is getting frustrated...

Hey there!
I can totally relate...
I've had probs since 99 but managed ok until the end of 2009. Things have just gotten worst since. I've accepted CFS, fm, & my dissociative dissorder. I know there is something else going on but don't know what. The thing is, after almost 14 yes I've accepted that this is it. I know this is how it'll be. But my husband hasn't. He has gotten better but I can't Telly ou how many times I've heard "I can't wait till thy figure out what's wrong with you", "I can't wait till you are fixed", "you're boring", "you never wanna do anything", ect. I've had him make hurtful comments on my weight. It's been 3 yrs since he made me feel pretty. It's rare for him to say anything nice. He makes comments like I'm lazy. After diagnosis he said "if I were you I'd take pain meds & get moving. The funny thing is I used to run circles around him, always buy. He should know I'm not lazy. This summer I've popped pain meds & pushed myself. I do better this time of year. If I don't take my meds though the pain gets worst so then I'm vomiting. But even then, I've pushed myself & pushed myself, pain is always there, always hurt, but I do everything I can as long as I'm not vomiting or have the severe headache. That still isn't good enough for him though.
I haven't exercised in months before I have been taking care of the farm animals. I walk down there & back for exercise. But I can't do much more than that. I've been canning, freezing veggies, picking berries, ect. We have 4 kids & I do my best to keep the house clean & cook. Thankfully 3 are old enough to help. But I have been so overwhelmed & miserable because it's all catching up with me. Yet he's on my case because I haven't been keepin up on the small garded. No matter what he just can't say anything nice, just gripe. Then he complains because I'm getting grumpier as time goes by. Um hello, I hurt all te time, exhausted & push myself constantly then listen to him complain. The other day I was puking then went back to making applesauce & canning it. The only way he seems to take fibro serious is when I'm sick. So he told me I should do it tomorrow. But I had picked the apples 3 days earlier & spent each day trying to get to it. I'm stubborn & made the apple sauce.
Unfortunetly men really do want to fix us & can't... So they are frustraited & have a hard time excepting it. I don't think that's an excuse to make things harder for us... But that's just how their minds work...
Anyhow, sorry so long. Haven't checked in much lately & I can really understand what you are going through.
It's best to have them go to your dr appts but wish they were more effective...

I've been on Naproxin which is a prescription strength alieve. It didn't do anything for me so don't take it. But I have a cousin with fibro (1 of 3) & that's all she takes & does well on it.
I've always been against taking meds, even over the counter stuff. But I have had to learn to rely on them because they do help improve my life. I would be on the couch 24/7 in so much pain if it weren't for my meds. Morning are the worst, stiffness, pain & fatigue are the worst but around 1pm I start to move around & get stuff done. Then I over do it. But atleast I feel like I'm living alittle more
Welcome to the board! It's tough havig fibro & the beginning always seems to be the hardest
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Fatigue & Derealization (PTSD?) 1999
Hypothyroid~ 2003
Back injury~ 2005
Severe Degenerative Disk, Arthritis, Mild Scoliosis.
Fibromyalgia diagnosed 2009
Neuropathy
Migraines?

 
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