| | Early retirement
Lately I've been wondering if I'm sorta living in denial with fibromyalgia. I just turned 24 and for the last couple of years I've been looking into different career options; wondering if there really is anything I'll be able to do with this thing. And even if that was possible, could I actually go to school five days a week and then do my homework.. not to mention studying for exams 2-4 hours a day. I just don't see how any school would accept me in.. I always fail exams cause I can't study with all these aches and pains, plus I have difficulties focusing and actually UNDERSTANDING what I'm even reading.
Like last spring I bought all those law books and thought to myself "hey, I'm gonna try to get into law school!" And then it hit me. I'd actually have to sit in one spot for several hours a day and READ. Can't nap, can't take breaks every 15 minutes. On top of that, I couldn't understand anything I was reading. Nothing just made any kinda sense and I sorta gave up.
I have ambition, I'm smart, and I have a very vivid imagination; in other words, I'm always coming up with new unique ideas. There's this weird contradiction; like I'm exhausted and in pain, but by nature I'm almost child-like with plenty of thoughts.. My mind races but I'm too exhausted to do anything for long periods of time.
So I'm unemployed (been for years now) and I'm wondering if I should be on early retirement/on disability for the rest of my life. I'm not sure how that translates to English since I live in Finland and things are a bit different here.
Like what If I just can't accept my condition.. like I wanna think I'm healthier than I actually am- possibly due to my young age. If I were 50+ years old I'd probably be totally OK with not doing anything anymore, but now it just seems too early...
Anyhow... any thoughts?