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Old 06-29-2008, 11:03 AM   #1
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3-1/2 weeks out from PTTT and calc osteotomy and depressed

Anyone else feel depressed and like crying? Man, this sucks, and I know I have a LONG way to go. My toes swell, I have pain, it is hard to sleep. Two more weeks in the cast. I forgot what comes next? Walking boot? Weight bearing or non? How long did your doc say for physical therapy. Any suggestions about feeling "blue"?

 
Old 06-29-2008, 12:17 PM   #2
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Re: 3-1/2 weeks out from PTTT and calc osteotomy and depressed

You are at one of the worse times in recovery. You aren't in so much pain that you are knocked out by pain meds but you are in too much pain to do anything - even put your foot down for long. That period is not fun, I know. Also, the pain meds do contribute to the mood swings, too. I wish I had good suggestions for you. You are still a little early to get out and go anywhere. Just know that it does get better. Next, you will be put in a boot and will begin PWB when your doctor tells you it is okay. I started at 7 weeks and worked into FWB over the next few weeks. My doctor started PT as soon as the cast came off and that helped mentally, too, as I was able to be out among the living again :=). Hang in there for a few more weeks and it will get better, I promise. (I watched a lot of TV and tried to stay away from depressing movies!)

p.s. I asked my doc for Ambien which I took throughout recovery and it helped a lot at night. You can take it with pain meds, too.

Last edited by emmie54; 06-29-2008 at 12:19 PM.

 
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Old 06-29-2008, 02:36 PM   #3
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Re: 3-1/2 weeks out from PTTT and calc osteotomy and depressed

My 85 year old mom (with a cane!) is here to help me. It's kind of like a rehab ward. I worry about her, but she's pretty active and alert, and can prepare meals. She loves to be busy and help people, so in that regard I am lucky. The bad part was my husband is on a fire managment team (forest fire) and had to leave for 8 days. I wasn't expecting it so soon, although he goes away a lot in the summers, and that really got me depressed. I really wanted him here. Also, he is not the kind to give a lot of "sympathy". He is here and helpful but isn't the "fluff your pillows" type and doesn't want to hear complaining. He is home now but may leave again soon for that and is also gone a week in July for a family event.

He got me out to a couple of stores to pick up a thing or two but it is exhausting to use the crutches from the parking lot to the store and back. All my arm muscles hurt! And having the foot down just makes that worse. I love to go to our farmer's market in Sunday and he took me there but it just isn't the same. I watch everyone who feels great and feel sorry for myself. I try to tell myself that there are many people in the world worse off than me and they do just fine.

I had my cast replaced last week and my foot was "free" for 15 minutes. Oh, my! What relief! They actually offered to put me in a boot (after only 1 week in the cast) and I declined (stupid me!) because I am klutzy and worried about having the soft top on the boot and want to be sure all the healing goes well. I am second-guessing that decision as it felt SO good to have that damn cast off. It is so tight.

You're right about the pain meds. They don't really help now and I wind up with a headache and I know they make me kind of grumpy and depressed. At least when I take them I don't really care. I have had a problem with taking pain meds unnecessarily in the past, so I'm trying to be careful there.

It is boring just wandering from one chair to another, then to the computer, and to the bed for a nap, and keeping the leg up, not really doing anything substantial. At least hearing that this is a difficult time is helpful.

 
Old 06-29-2008, 03:07 PM   #4
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Re: 3-1/2 weeks out from PTTT and calc osteotomy and depressed

It does get better, hang in there!

When I had my drilling in October and was NWB and home for 6 weeks I think I cried for the first 3 and I am not usually a crier. (It was so bad that when watching a game show, I would cry if they got the answer wrong

In my case, it was the few months leading up to the surgery and the pain I was in, the nerves of my first surgery ever and just the fear of not knowing what to expect that I think contributed to my 'meltdown' afterwards .. then with the helplessness feeling along with the meds just pushed me over the edge.

I have another surgery in August and am prepared for it to happen again while I am home and NWB for 8-12 weeks, but at least I know it will go away .. just as it will in your case. As emmie said, stay away from the sad movies and I guarantee it will get better.

Come back here if you need to vent as there are many on here going through the same thing.

Take care and good luck!
Kim

 
Old 06-29-2008, 05:49 PM   #5
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Re: 3-1/2 weeks out from PTTT and calc osteotomy and depressed

I so understand what you're going through. After my PTT surgery, I was okay for a couple of weeks because I was on pain meds and didn't feel well but once that past, I was so bummed out. I would cry for no reason and get paranoid about things out of my control. If I have to have another surgery, I am going to talk to the doc about anti-depressants. Talking on this board really helped me stay connected with others. Having that surgery and being NWB I felt like I was so isolated and cut off from the world which adds to the depression. Hope this helps!

 
Old 06-29-2008, 07:41 PM   #6
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Red face Re: 3-1/2 weeks out from PTTT and calc osteotomy and depressed

Hello Everyoe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MJ, I seriously thought about posting regarding this and was too scared too. Yeah, totally know where ur coming from. I'm single with a dog and in my 20's and its summertime. I'm recovering with my sis who like ur husband is there but not really sympathetic sometimes I feel like she can be insensitive. It may be due to the fact that I conceal my feelings a lot cuz i don't want to the person that complains and whines all of the time so I just keep it all to myself and stay in my room if I'm not feeling like myself. I wish mind readers existed LOL. I'm 4 weeks post op with pretty much the same procedures as you but with a few more and approaching 5th week. It's really challenging mentally and I was ill-prepared for this portion of recovery. I was nervous and all consumed by the pain, was it going to hurt really, really bad. The pain was pretty manageable so far but the mental and emotional rift raft was totaly unexpected and threw me for a loop. I'm glad that someone was gutsy enough to address it. I have to use self help books and encourage myself that this is temporary and all kinds of mentally stimulating, self esteem lift tricks. I started getting down once I learned of this injury and use to find solace in eating but that hasn't been the case since the surgery which caused me to lose quite a bit of weight but now I just grit and bear it instead of running from or trying to lessen it. It sucks, it really does suck and to think I have to repeat this process all over again in a couple of months for the other foot. Hopefully due to experience it'll be a better recovery. This board def helps and it reminds us that we're not alone even if our world seems to say so.

 
Old 06-29-2008, 07:47 PM   #7
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Re: 3-1/2 weeks out from PTTT and calc osteotomy and depressed

I was wondering about my other foot, too. When I started using a boot a couple of weeks before surgery as the pain was so great, my "good" foot began getting sore on the medial ankle. That is now the foot that I have to use for everything and it is a bit sore, too. That worries me. It's a bummer that whenever you get up, even to use the bathroom, to have both feet hurt! I guess depression is part of the process - grieving,I guess. Denial anger all of that. I'd just like to get up once without having to get my crutches. This board helps, though.

 
Old 06-29-2008, 07:57 PM   #8
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Re: 3-1/2 weeks out from PTTT and calc osteotomy and depressed

Now I know what it feels like to be handicapped the only difference which is a huge one is that mine is only temporary. I couldn't imagine this being forever but the range of emotions are the same, it might take those that have permanent disabilities a little longer to come out of the process. I always had respect for those less fortunate and now I have a newfound respect. U know they say everything happens for a reason, I just pray that there's a darn good one for this.

My other foot was diagnosed at the same time of the surgical foot, it's also severely deformed and flat but not as severe as the surgical foot yet. The doc said that if not treated it could get even worse especially since I now have a totally different foot to work with. So I said well go ahead and take care of that one too as soon as possible. I have to wait approx 6 months or however long it takes for the surgical foot to stabilize before I can have the other surgery.

 
Old 06-30-2008, 05:07 AM   #9
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Wink Re: 3-1/2 weeks out from PTTT and calc osteotomy and depressed

Oh, I had a few really low moments, too. But they were longer than a "few moments!" In the first couple of weeks by suppertime I'd be really down but one of the other Sisters (I live in a monastery) insisted that I get outside and she took me out in the garden and it made a difference.

One time I just kept bawling over "nothing" because I felt so helpless and every little thing I could do exhausted me.

When I got the cast off 2 weeks ago (I had it for 8 weeks) I was so excited UNTIL I had to start walking in the boot with crutches. The first few days I would cry just at the effort of getting breakfast and I'd get annoyed at Sisters who would say, "Congratulations! You're walking!" because I had as much pain as the 1st couple of weeks.

So, I think it is just part of the healing process. Let yourself cry but don't let it control your whole day. Try to think positive and do something enjoyable or something to get your mind off your discomfort.

When I ran out of books to read I would go online to the guetenberg project and read books online! I guess I was desperate!

 
Old 08-09-2008, 09:38 AM   #10
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Re: 3-1/2 weeks out from PTTT and calc osteotomy and depressed

MJ:

How are you feeling now? I had the same surgery that you had done and I am 2.5 weeks out. I, too, feel like I'm about to go crazy.

I did go into the kitchen to "check" things out today (my husband's way of doing things, are far different than mine). I started to rearrange the refrigerator and clean up the way I do things - am very obsessive about cleaning.

After about 30 minutes, my foot was throbbing so badly, that I had to capitulate and come back upstairs and elevate. I cried the entire way up uttering something like ďmy house is ruined, itíll never be the sameĒ - - in retrospect, my husband is doing a good job (at least for a guy) and I sounded completely silly.

Iím sure that this will pass, but I HATE being so limited.

Best of luck,

Sandy

 
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