Mpls--
It's completely okay to be afraid. You are absolutely justified in feeling scared! Let the first person you meet at the hospital know you are very nervous, and they'll make sure you get some extra hand holding! I was very confident in my surgeon's abilities; but was worried about anesthesia and the recovery as well.
You will have wonderful people helping you out. The nurse anesthetist is completely there for you. They are so wonderful! I don't think mine ever talked to me when he WASN'T holding my hand--be it in the OR, the recovery room, or surgical holding. Trust me, I was as nervous as they come, so if I can handle it, YOU can handle it! I went to the OR crying, with a box of kleenex, and my OS still asks me at post-op visits if I'm feeling better yet
Today, try and distract yourself. Make sure you have a lot of high interest, low concentration reading materials for recovery, and even though it's late, make sure your house is ready. Set up a little area with your phone book, remote control, snacks, lip gloss, etc. What else will you need? A chair in the shower? Garbage bags and duct tape to cover the cast/bandages? Make sure you have that stuff nearby, it will help in the long run. If you need anything, buy it. If it's too late for you to shop, make a list for a friend/family member to pick up while you're at the hospital. This will make recovery easier (another one of your fears), as well as keeping your mind off of tomorrow.
All I can say is that once the surgery is done, a lot of the anxiety will be gone. Even though my surgeon told me (as he signed the site in surgical holding), "Today is the day that we fix this; you don't have to be in pain for the rest of your life," I still felt worried. Try and keep that in mind yourself, and try to let go and let the health professionals do what they do best! As a major OCD control freak, it is and was so hard to give up my control over the situation. Hang in there! I'll be thinking of you and praying for you!
Take care,
Karyn
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