janewhite1

That sounds like a song, no?

Anyway, it's not so much pre-op anxiety as it is not-better-yet issues.

I'm just so tired. I have to take public transportation to work, which, when you walk at half-speed with a cane, is truly special. For a while I was managing okay, but the last 3 times I've left the house, I've had a meltdown because things weren't going my way. Like when the bus doors slam right in my face after I've limped most of a block as fast as I can--and three kids ran past me and made it.

Part of it is that I've had an unrelated injury to my hand, so now I can't even go to the gym and lift weights. Part of it is that my ankle just randomly started feeling worse a few days ago (now I've got a pain BEHIND my lateral malleolus, too!) Part of it is that I had a bad week at work, and have to completely redo a project I thought I was finished with. And part of it is just that I've been hurt for over a year and various levels of disabled by ankle pain for several months, and I'm simply worn out. And let's not even get into what-if-the-surgery-doesn't-help land...

And then, of course, there's been all the stress of dealing with insurance. I've wasted 3 of the last 8 days on that--one at work, fighting with them over the phone instead of working (They processed the referral, printed and mailed me a copy, then they couldn't find it in the system when the time came to authorize the procedure!), Then, tuesday I wasted at the clinic getting blood tests (ok, necessary) and then today going to the clinic again, just so my family doctor can fill out the form which says I'm healthy enough it's unlikely I'll die from outpatient surgery.

I THINK insurance is happy now, and all I have left to do is pre-op with surgeon, but it's still taken a toll.

I'm eleven and a half days from my surgery, and I'm beginning to wonder if I can keep it together that long. And I need some strength to get better with!

So, completely typical, right?

I'm hoping that if I take the weekend to do nothing much, and then see if I can rearrange my work responsibilities a bit, so that I'm doing more of the stuff I like for the next few weeks, and less of the stuff that just stresses me out more. And maybe start the working-from-home a little earlier.

I love you all for putting up with my problems so my husband doesn't have to absorb all of it, wonderful man that he is.