tamass

I have been suffering from post surgery depression. For me it has only been 13 days since my surgery. I was pretty normal before my surgery...I had panic attacks but usually only when my husband was driving and we were in his truck. I know that sounds funny but it is true his truck scares me to death ( a big huge 1991 suburban). Other than the truck panic attacks I never had a problem with depression or any thing like this since my teen years. My surgery was total foot reconstruction caused my an injury at work. I was fine after surgery until my one week check up. They took off the splint and I saw all the incisions for the first time. I have one on my calf where they removed muscle to reconstruct my arch then several all over my foot. Not to mention they sawed my heel in half and moved it over so it looks like an alien foot now. I was told I would never wear high heels again, or capris, or sandals, and I would have to have special shoes made. That day I was fine but for the last 6 days I have been crying all the time. My husband and my four boys (all 12 and under) have been doing everything they can to cheer me up but nothing seems to work. I just put a call into my doc to see what can be done. This is so unlike me. I have always been the one everyone comes to when they need cheered up. It doesn't help that my best friend of 25 years (we are only 31) moved over 9 hours away this past summer and my dad lives almost as far. My mother and grandparents are not much help. My mom is going through her won issues and my grandparents are of that generation that does not believe in mental health issues.
I know I am in for a long road to recovery, there is no doubt about that. I just don't know how much longer I can just sit and cry. I am even crying over all the sweet things my husband and boys are doing for me. On top of all of the crying I am really trying to resist the urge to chew off my own leg because of my cast. The confinement of it is driving me insane. I go next week to have it removed and my 51 staples and 128 stitches removed and another cast put on for 5 more weeks...I may just chew my leg off by that point. All of this is just becoming way to much for me to handle.
Has anyone else dealt with this...how did you get throug it? Any advice would be great..heck just knowing I am not alone would be great too. Thanks for listening!!!!!