so much wrong its ridiculous
ive had short bouts of odd symptoms before. intention tremor, dropping things, vertigo, joint pain,
along with my psychiatric illness. (schizo-affective)
but this is the worst ive been. four and a half months now.
ive had so many symptoms its ridiculous.
they vary. some are constant, some last a few days or weeks then go and then come back.
intention tremor in my hands
myoclonus (noise-sensitive, but sometimes constant)
joint pains in toes, feet, ankles, knees, wrists and fingers. i cant fully straighten the top joints in my little n ring fingers on one hand. my right knee has started clicking whenever i walk upstairs.
shooting pains in hands, arms, toes, feet, side of head.
occasional pins and needles in two fingertips and three toes leading to numbness, reduced sensation down one arm and waist at one point.
itching, over alot of my body, esp under my breasts and backs of my calves
scabs and lumps on my scalp that come and go.
extreme exhaustion and fatigue. one week i was in bed for 3 days non stop. couldnt keep my eyes open. felt dizzy and like death. felt slightly out of breath too. normal rate but felt horrid like i wasnt getting enough oxygen.
recurrent UTI/kidney infections
kidney pain, protein and urobilinogen in my urine tests (when i had uti proteinuria haematuria leucocytes and obviously nitrites)(waiting for labs to come back again)
starting to get headaches in one side of my head.
sometimes i have woken up with small bruises all over my legs (20 per leg)
and a few times unexplained large bruises on my thighs and once on lower abdomen. but platelets were fine.
my vision wont stay still. i focus on something and it moves slightly all the time. at worst my vision constantly jerked from side to side and i couldnt focus properly.
i appear to have slight horizontal ridges on my nails every 3 or 4 mm
some days i keep tripping over my right foot when i walk.
my short term memory is often very very poor. but my intelligence is actually improving with my improved mental health.
constipation since november. i swear i have felt with my finger a bulge develop high up in my rectum till now it blocks it totally. but the gps put me in a position where it gets pulled up even more and they dont get high up enough when they examine me. some rectal bleeding sometimes. a pan full of blood. improved some since they put me on movicol. not normal. but better.
twice i had days when all my old scars on my thighs and arms turned from white to pink which was strange.
and one time i leant forward to pick up a glass, and two scratch like things appeared on my shin. about 5 cms long. just scratches, tiny lines of blood. got the scars now. but its like my skin just split open. again scratches appeared when i was walking in town, no blood this time. i felt them go. scratching pain on my shin. scared me a little.
normal temperature mostly (a few nights i dropped to 36.4)
normal reflexes as tested by gp
ana rh factor esr cpk electrolytes liver thyroid urea creatinine full blood count and a few others all came back normal.
though my gp initially thought lupus before the bloods.
alkaline phosphatase was slightly raised as was overall protein. but gp didnt think it was raised enough to warrant investigation.
i am tachycardic. but always have been.
my weight is steady. (12 stone 7)
i feel unwell.
its hard. most of it my family and gp cant 'see' so they say i look well enough and ask why im not going to college and spending so much time in bed.
where do they even start looking? for what could be wrong?
im waiting to see a rheumatologist because of the joint pain.
but so many things have been suggested. ms lupus RA lyme psychosomatic anti-depressant side effects tertiary and neurosyphillis for a start.
ought to get syphillis test results monday.
mostly ive been told it must be psychiatric cos there are so many symptoms. but my psychiatrist and psych nurse say it isnt.
medication has been mentioned too. im on venlafaxine. been on it over a year. no problems before october. suddenly i have almost all the side effects listed in the bnf!
which brings me to july. in july i took an overdose of venlafaxine. that gave me dizziness/vertigo and myoclonus that turned into tremor. course tremor all over. also oedema in arms legs and belly. greasy skin and hair for a week.
my bloods for liver kidneys etc were fine.
but i am worried that this is somehow a delayed damage reaction to that od. could it take from july to october for damage to show???
also my mother has fibromyalgia, her twin has rheumatoid arthritis and their mother had multiple sclerosis.
ironically for the most part my mental health is better than ever and i stopped drinking and self harming a while ago.
im not depressed as such. a bit low but nothing like i used to be. no psychotic symptoms. my agoraphobia and panic attacks stopped a year ago.
occasionally at night there is alot of noise in my head. memories, music, films etc from the day. not hallucinations, they are inside my head. but very very loud and fast. which is a bit manic like for me. but no other psych symptoms.
but im finding it hard to think about the future and my life because frankly the way things are going with my body im starting to fear i might be seriously ill and that i will end up collapsing and dying before anyone finds out whats wrong with me.
there are so many things it could be
so many tests needed to rule them out
and the NHS just doesnt have the time or money to do all that
especially for a psych patient.
i cant afford to go private.
maybe i am just crazy.
i cant 'prove' otherwise
i feel more and more unwell and worried, and everyone around me are telling me more and more that theres nothing wrong with me cos those bloodtests were normal, and that i should be getting up in the morning and going to college and walking everywhere and stuff.
id give anything to have an mri
my first symptom was a week of wrist pain at night.
then the itching and i also got acne for a few weeks then and a rash round my neck like i get if i wear non-silver/gold jewellery.
just needed to voice my worries