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Old 05-27-2006, 09:58 PM   #1
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Kissing a smoker

I am a non-smoker and have a new boyfriend that I'm crazy about who smokes 1/2 a pack a day, which he thinks is not heavy. He never smokes around me, and promised he would not smoke in the house if we marry. This is the first time I am dating a smoker.

When I kiss him I can taste the cigarette leftovers. It is unpleasant, but more so, I am wondering if kissing a smoker can transfer those chemicals/tobacco residues to me and have long term health effects. A study was done which showed cigarette smoke changes a smoker's saliva and makes it produce free radicals, and I am wondering if those free radicals can affect me. I also know that nicotine can get into a man's semen, so I have the same worries there...health effects on me.

When you are intimate with someone, everything they do becomes what you do. But I can't find any studies done on whether kissing a smoker can have health effects on a non-smoker.

 
Old 05-27-2006, 11:53 PM   #2
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Saraw08 HB User
Re: Kissing a smoker

As far as I know, kissing a smoker can't spread the harmful effects. It's just gross.

 
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Old 05-28-2006, 07:58 AM   #3
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Re: Kissing a smoker

yeah its like dating a chimney..

 
Old 05-28-2006, 08:39 AM   #4
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Re: Kissing a smoker

He's a new boyfriend right? Are you comfortable enough with him to tell him in a tactful way that the smoker's breath bothers you? I don't think I'm the most tactful person in the world so I wouldn't know exactly how to word it.

After more than 30 years of 2+ packs a day, I quit smoking a couple of months ago. My husband quit too. Now we can smell what non-smokers have been smelling all along, and it's truly gross!

Last edited by cookiepls; 05-28-2006 at 08:44 AM.

 
Old 05-28-2006, 08:45 AM   #5
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Re: Kissing a smoker

I told him once that I tasted it and it bothered me, so next time he remedied that and I didn't taste it. But now he's back to smelling like it again. I guess actions speak louder than words, so instead of telling him I just won't kiss him, and see how he reacts.

 
Old 05-28-2006, 08:52 AM   #6
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Re: Kissing a smoker

You might mention that there are many studies that show smoking can lower a man's fertility or even damage his sperm's DNA. I don't know if it will help but that might make him rethink whether he really wants to keep smoking.

 
Old 05-28-2006, 08:54 AM   #7
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Re: Kissing a smoker

I like your idea of not kissing him too. That action will certainly speak loudly to him.

 
Old 05-28-2006, 11:41 PM   #8
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Re: Kissing a smoker

Ask him to quit.
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Old 05-29-2006, 06:04 AM   #9
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Re: Kissing a smoker

Yeah, kissing a smoker is disgusting. I was never aware that you can get anything from kissing a smoker, it just seems flat out nasty. Try to convince him to stop somehow.

In the meantime, the best you can do is just use mints and gum and stuff.

 
Old 05-29-2006, 06:41 PM   #10
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Re: Kissing a smoker

did you know before he became your boyfriend that he is a smoker? if so, you have no right to insist that he quit or no right to complain. you can ask that he use mints or something if he wants to kiss you....but if you REALLY like this guy and want it to last....you really need to lay off the complaining. otherwise, you are going to run him off by the nagging. ]

if you dont want to be with a smoker, then dont.....thats your choice to make...but dont insist that HE has to change because of you. that would be like me not wanting to be around someone that drinks...and yet, get involved with someone that does.....who am i to make that person quit drinking...just because i dont want to be around it???? if i dont want to be around someone that drinks...the obvious answer is to find someone that doesnt have that problem.

1/2 pack a day is NOT a heavy smoker. most guys smoke at least 1 pack a day...and more.

i am now a non-smoker....and realize that it does stink......however......i am NOT going to make others change their ways just because i quit. i actually insist that they carry on as usual....because i know its not right to make them change their ways, just because i no longer smoke. you can politely ask if he would be willing to quit smoking....but to insist, or constantly nag about it, is just plain wrong, and will jeopardize your relationship. nagging will make the situation worse....not better. ....you have two choices..to accept that he is a smoker....or break up with him, if he refuses to not try to quit....that has to be your choice. but its wrong to complain about a mans bad habits, that you knew about before he became your boyfriend.

 
Old 05-29-2006, 07:53 PM   #11
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Re: Kissing a smoker

He passed himself as a non-smoker when I first met him. He basically lied and said he was a non-smoker. When he admitted to me that he was a smoker, I asked him if he was willing to quit and he said that he would not, that it was part of who he was.

 
Old 05-29-2006, 08:34 PM   #12
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Re: Kissing a smoker

Ladybug = Dr. Laura? Hmmm....

If there's anything I'd take issue with, OP, it's the fact that your boyfriend lied to you.
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Old 07-27-2006, 09:09 AM   #13
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idontknowx HB User
Re: Kissing a smoker

what i do is chew gum, then when we are kissing transfer it into his mouth. he thinks its just playful. heh i'm slick.. but it helps?

 
Old 07-27-2006, 02:16 PM   #14
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Re: Kissing a smoker

Your boyfriend lied to you in the beginning. Hmmmm....this means he is not only a smoker but also a liar. Once a liar, always one.

What you see in the beginning is what you will end up with in the end.

My suggestion is to forget about this fish and keep looking for one who does not smoke or lie. There are lots of fish in the pond, just keep fishing!!

 
Old 07-27-2006, 06:13 PM   #15
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Re: Kissing a smoker

New Boyfriend....
I hate to sound cynical but here goes...
You either except him as "IS" or get over "IT"! You can't change him,mend him or fix him!
You have to determine your feelings for him and decide what you will tolerate in a relationship and what you won't.
Let's say you date "Joe".He is wonderful at first....and then habits he has start to bother you.
He may pick his nose,spit,make awful sounds when he eats or drinks.Act like a fool!He may snore!He could end up being selfish in the long term of things.

Relationships can be awkward at times...if it doesn't feel right move on.
Above all...don't settle for a man that is not respectful and worthy of you.JE

 
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