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Old 05-15-2007, 07:43 PM   #1
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Angry Family in Depression | Need Help

I'AM WRITING THIS IN MY ASPECT (P.O.V.), FOR MY UNCLE ( SO THE WORD MOTHER REFERS TO MY GRANDMOTHER AND MY UNCLE'S MOM EXCEPT FOR ONE PART DEFINED WAY)


So Instead of writing a long story, I will just point out some key bullets. BUT WE REALLY DO NEED HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- JUNE 2005 : MOTHER WENT CRAZY. (HOSPITALIZED, HAD BLOOD TRANSFUSION, DIABETES, MENTAL THINGS.)
- SEPTEMBER 2005: THINGS LITTLE BETTER (WAS NOT TALKING CRAZY ANYMORE FOR MOST PART) (LYMPHADEMIA)

--- Grandfather (father) died in February 2006, my uncle and myself have been helping her with buying groceries, feeding her (not literally). and so for the last 1 1/2 yrs, we have been doing this, my uncle had to change jobs for her so he would "live closer", and its really getting old and stuff, so here are some MAJOR problems going on:

PROBLEMS WE HAVE:

1. She has diabetes, but says her doctor told her to stop taking meds.
2. PESRONAL/FAMILY PROB.//NOT MEDICAL!She hid the wills after my grandfather's death so she'd get everything (manipulative?) ( btw, we did not care if their was any monetary value (they really don't have any anyway), but it would have been nice to know who and who got what and what.)
3. She has been sitting for 2 years full
- 24/7
- when I say "sitting" I MEAN SITTING, HAS NOT WALKED, BEEN TO BEDROOM, OR OUTSIDE, IN A CAR, SHE'S BEEN IN THE SAME CHAIR, SAME SPOT, NOTHING HAS MOVED!!! )
4. She goes to the bathroom in the chair(using "POISE PADS" and thinks using LYSOL WIPES is sanitary to "BATHE" Herself in!
4a. SHE GOES THROUGH 45 POISE PADS PER WEEK (THE BIGGEST KIND TOO!)
4b. WASTE OF MONEY!
5. SHE HASN'T SEEN A DOCTOR IN 2 YEARS.
6. SHE HAS LYMPHADEMIA (spelling i know) and it probably needs to be seen by a doctor.
7. SHE WON'T SEE A DOCTOR OR GET UP!
8. SHE ... SOMETHING THAT NEEDS ATTENTION!


--- MY UNCLE HAS CALLED OUR "SNOHOMISH COUNTY HEALTH DEPARTMENT"
AND TALKED TO A LADY, AND SHE SAID IN A GENERALIZATION THAT THERE WAS NOTHING THEY COULD DO TO HELP. ---

PLESE HELP!!
"MY MOM(MY ACTUAL MOM, NOT PERSON IN NEED)"(my uncle's sister) goes to counseling because of this too! She can't even go into her house!!
THINGS ARE SO (BEEPIN) STRESSFUL AND DEPRESSING!!!!!!! SOMETIMES THINGS GET SO BADDD....
WE've HAD SO MANY ARGUMENTS WITH HER AbOUT SEEING A DOCTOR/GETTING HELP!!
SHE NEEDS HELP!!!!
WHAT SHOULD WE DO!! I AM SURPRISED (I) WE EVEN FUNCTION!!!
THANK YOU!!!


Last edited by elspoky90; 05-15-2007 at 07:47 PM. Reason: mother needed to be defined more.

 
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Old 05-16-2007, 07:04 AM   #2
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Re: Family in Depression | Need Help

I'm not quite sure I understand. Do you mean that this lady has not been out of this chair at all? Are you providing her food? Then give her an ultimatum. Go to the dr. or no food. Call your family doctor and tell him/her your concerns. This is not normal behavior. I am sure that your family doctor did not tell her to stop her meds. She needs to be treated...Get your doctor to tell you what and how you need to proceed.

You asked what you need to do. You need to take a stand. She may become very angry, but it is for her own health and safety. Sitting in a chair and using lysol wipes is not normal behavior. Even if it means taking her to a hospital with a psych. ward..

 
Old 05-16-2007, 12:51 PM   #3
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Re: Family in Depression | Need Help

Hi, I agree!! Sounds like she can do for herself is she WANTS to,not saying she is depending on others.Like ibake&pray stated someone has to get her out of the house and to see a doctor and it does sound like she is indeed depressed and could be the result of blood sugar issues, does anyone test her blood? That is all that can be done or let it continue

 
Old 05-16-2007, 04:23 PM   #4
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Re: Family in Depression | Need Help

Thank you for your replies, any suggestions really help!

THE DOCTOR or NO FOOD one I LIKE, BUT I DON'T KNOW IF MY UNCLE WILL GO THROUGH WITH IT, WE HAVE HAD A LOT OF ARGUMENTS WITH HER ABOUT NO FOOD AND STUFF, AND SHE SAID SHE'D "CALL THE AUTHORITIES" to have my uncle arrested for 'neglecting' her! which is really stupid, but according to our health dept. that would be 'negelcting', so you see how difficult this is for him.

IT'S ALSO REALLY HARD FOR ME TO PERSUADE him to do anything because he has tried so hard and for the past few months he just wants to do nothing to help... IDK.... (he thinks nothing will work, but yet he wants change, but won't do anything...)
ARGH!
THANKS THOUGH FOR SUGGESTIONS!

SO SHOULD I STILL TALK TO MY DOCTOR BECAUSE SHE HAD A TOTLALY DIFFERENT ONE (plan/doctor/everything) AND WE HAVE ONE, IDK IF IT WOULD WORK? I WILL IF IT DOES THOUGH.

ibake&pray, umm. Pretty much yeah SHE HAS NOT EVEN STOOD AND WALKED, she has been in the chair for 2 whole years, I'm serious, you could put a video camera in front of the chair, and for 2 years you would see her there THE WHOLE TIME!!!

I ALSO HAVE A Q, FOR YOU, SO DO YOU JUST call 911 and say what "she's not healthy..blah..blah"
Because she'll get all defensive and lie to them if they step foot in her place!

 
Old 05-17-2007, 08:03 AM   #5
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Re: Family in Depression | Need Help

Call her doctor. I doubt that she has seen one if she hasn't been out of that chair in two years. No doctor would let a patient sit in a chair for two years without moving. To be truthful, she probably can't stand at this point. If she has diabetes, she needs to see a doctor. It also sounds like she has some mental issues...actually a whole lot of them.

Make a list of things that she is/isn't doing. Keep it factual, not emotional. Put as much on there as you can come up with. Chronological if you can. If you can't, that's OK. Then get this to her Dr. Make an appt. to see him, or write him a letter about her and include the list and leave it at his office for him to read. Keep the letter straight forward, non emotional, as factual as possible. Tell him what you and your uncle have been doing to support her, her reactions, how this has affected you and your family. Ask for his help. Tell him she refuses to leave the house/.. you get the idea. Ask him what to do. HIPPA laws may not allow him to tell you some things, but he may be able to suggest something for you to do.

You don't want to rant and rave, this takes all credibility out of the letter. You want to solicite his help. Hopefully he will be able to offer some sort of help for you.

Otherwise the only thing you can do is to cut your ties to her to preseve your own mental health. If she wants to order food, she can have it delivered...your uncle doesn't have to do it, you know...there are other ways...

Please try to get help for yourself....

 
Old 05-18-2007, 06:01 PM   #6
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Re: Family in Depression | Need Help

Thank you Ibake&pray, what if we no longer have any info of her doctor because she just happened to move to another state? It's silly rather. She thinks shes done nothing wrong! How funny. I will have to write a factual (not emotional) letter. Is there anything we can do to "force" her. I asked my uncle why he does what he does, and he only tells me " I don't know" then gets angry at me. As you can tell, this family is 'seriously' crazy and dysfunctional. My mom has problems, I've never seen my real father, my grandfather just died, my grandmother is crazy, and yeah... pretty much.
Thanks for your reply/suggestion!

 
Old 05-21-2007, 10:07 AM   #7
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Re: Family in Depression | Need Help

THen I suggest that you make an appoint with your doctor and sit down and tell him what is going on. I don't that he will do anything as she is not his patient...I would ask him for suggestions as to how you can get help for her. I wish you could get psychiatric help for her. I don't know that calling 911 would work as that is for a true emergency.

Who changes her? Doe she change her clothes? Does your uncle cook for her? does she sleep in the chair? Is she over weight? How are is her mental state? Does she see nothing wrong with this? Could the health department help? Try calling them and asking. this isn't normal or healthy...

 
Old 05-25-2007, 06:34 PM   #8
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Re: Family in Depression | Need Help

Quote:
Originally Posted by ibake&pray View Post

Who changes her? Doe she change her clothes? Does your uncle cook for her? does she sleep in the chair? Is she over weight? How are is her mental state? Does she see nothing wrong with this? Could the health department help? Try calling them and asking. this isn't normal or healthy...
Are you asking me to answer? I will

She doesn't really wear anything....sick. Sometimes she will. My uncle just "cooks" her tv dinners, occasionally some beef stew or chili, and if shes "lucky" he'll get her something else. But she really doesn't get home-cooked meals. Her mental state is ________ NOT NORMAL!!!! CAN I JUST SAY "WEIRD!"? SHE THINKS IT IS OKAY TO SIT FOR 2 YEARS STRAIGHT AND NOT GET UP!
I have suggested she got a wheel chair, she doesn't want to.
I AM SO FRUSTRATED!!!!!!

THANKS THOUGH!!!
I THINK SHE WON'T DO ANYTHIN!!

 
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