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Old 09-04-2007, 06:36 PM   #1
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watchy HB User
Would be very grateful for advice.

Hi, I am new to these boards so please be gentle with me. I am not even sure if I am on the right board - so please feel free to send me in the right direction if I'm not.

I am 39 and have had a string of unsuccessful relationships. Briefly, married at 18 - divorced at 28, engaged then - sister ran off and married my partner, married at 30 - he ran off with his secretary. Ended up in a relationship that resulted in the best thing in my life = my daughter - however, he beat me up very badly when my little girl was just 2 (she will be 4 in December). Since then I cannot form a relationship.

I have been thinking tonight about why and I have finally come to a conclusion. I go on dating sites or chat rooms and get chatted up - I respond and love the chase. I then make excuses.

What I am doing is carp and will not lead to anything - but I have come to the conclusion that I like the chase but then get scared because in my experience after this stage I get hurt!

Has anyone else had similar experiences?? Or can anyone offer any suggestions of, perhaps, help I could get?? I would be grateful of any views.

 
Old 09-05-2007, 05:13 AM   #2
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thaliak HB Userthaliak HB Userthaliak HB Userthaliak HB Userthaliak HB Userthaliak HB User
Re: Would be very grateful for advice.

Witchey,
I am so sorry you have had such bad luck with your past relationships.
And you are right when you say that you are scared to get any deeper than just chatting.
Have you thought of whether you have been subconsciously choosing the wrong guys in the first place? To answer this perhaps you would like to consider the relationship with your father.
This is the first love relationship we have and forms the basis of all our later relationships with other men.
I have chosen my husband subconsciously to resemble my father down to the last detail, his profession!!! Alas, however, he turned out to be different when he matured and mingled into the world big time!!!.
It also seems to me that chatting on the internet is also a subconscious effort to feel attractive and wanted without strings, because you do not really want to form another serious relationship.
What do you think?

 
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