Im new to this thing but i cant seem to figure out whats wrong with me. I cant concentrate on anything for more than a few seconds. Its never really been this bad but i have barely any energy and almost no motivation. Its not like im just sitting around moping about it though. Its seems to come every week or two weeks. Then it will leave and i feel happy and i can get stuff done. When it leaves im always wondering why it left and if it were something i was doing or not. THe first plan i did was just changing the way i eat. I figured that might have something to do. Im not fat im 6'' and 150 pounds. I almost completely gave up sugar. The only time i would have a decent amount was in my orange juice in the morning. I had this whole plan where i avoid sugar, socialize, take ginkoba, and exercise. At first it seemed to really be working and i was ecstatic. But after about a week it wore off and i went back to the tired, no energy, mentally out of it, no motivation, just completely out of it in every way. Whenever im like this i get really down because i have no clue what it is. Theres nothing physically wrong with me, i do have a sore throat but ive quit smoking for about a week and ive only smoked for a year or so.I come up with these ideas that maybe i have like throat cancer or like some incurable disease, its ridiculous i know. Ive always been insecure and down on myself but thats only when i feel like crap. I googled brain fog, blankness, mentally out of it, like everything i felt and i couldnt find anything on the web. This is the closest thing ive found to what im feeling. I was doing well a week or so ago when i started another new plan. i go to school at 8 but i figured maybe if i get up at 5 in the morning, eat as much fruit through the day as i can, read, and get to bed by 9pm then i would be fine. It worked but now im on easter break and im really down in the dumps again. I cant seem to concentrate, i rarely have a thought going through my brain. It feels like im in a daze. Ive been trying everything to get out of it. I went for a two hour walk yesterday along with working out(which ive been doing for 30mins to an hour 4 times a week), ive begun drinking a crap load of water because i thought i could be dehydrated, ive been eating alot of food but only good food. Nothing seems to be getting me anywhere. I actually took a shower with no hot water, only freezing cold water to wake me out of it. Its like im trying to find motivation and energy but i cant seem to get it anywhere. I jump around periodically and scream and slap myself, and tell my self, hey mike snap out of it. Its really retarded and i feel like a retard right now. I figure anything to get happy and stay that way for more than a week. When im like this i dont remember anything, ill try reading and ill forget what i just read as soon as i move onto another paragraph. Its so frustrating. My last plan was pretty much a combination of all my plans. Exercise, eat right, wake up early, go to bed early, socialize, avoid sugar(ive begun to eat some dark chocolate everyday cause i guess its supposed to release endorphines) but now that none of this is working its really frustrating. I find it so unfair to my friends when im around them not happy and just blank all the time. when im not in this "fog" im quick witted, caring, funny, interesting, and my self-esteem and body image go up. I guess this week im going to buy aderall from my friend cause its getting really bad. I just wanted to tell someone this, idk, everytime i go to tell a friend they have no idea what im talking about. Im not looking for sympathy, i just want to find a way to change and stay happy. Id rather be crippled than be this way with no flow of thought through my brain. I dont know if you have tried anything to cope with it without medication. Its really not fun at all and i cant live like this. I do have a family and im not very close with them.Its funny because my mom forgets everything and ive brought this up to her a couple times and like its really embarrasing for me and then the next day she just forgets.And i bring up it and shes like what? Im adopted so theres nothing genetically wrong that i got from this family. My mom thinks i sniff gasoline in the garage and thats why im so stupid half of the time, but i dont, i seriously dont. I havnt smoked marijunana for over 5 months, and i dont do any drugs. Anywho yea i feel your pain, i just need someone to overcome this with. Im going to make a sona in my bathroom to sweat out the bad toxins... This is what its come to. Lol this is getting so ridiculous. I cant help myself but laugh at how stupid this, and me, is getting. I spell checked like a thousand words, im morphing in to an idiot. Ive begun praying to God that this stops, but it doesnt help. So ill stop this stupid tangent, peace.