silentprey

Hi,
I have not posted on a forum before and really scared and frustrated with what i am going through at the minute. I thought by posting I might be able to get a solution before i see more doctors and speacialists..Im a 23 yr old male, uni student studying primary teaching, quite fit and very happy, friendly and positive person (used to be). Now this is has all seemed to change. A few months ago out of nowhere i got a terrible feeling in my head, felt sick in the stomach, faint and heart palpitations. I went to ER, they found heart 135bpm, blood pressure 190/92..Due to this the concern and diagnostic came forth that i had high blood pressure. So i was treated for that, got side effects from the medications (swollen tongue, which hasn't stopped, ringing ears) so it was decided to get off them. Over the next month my blood pressure was tested and gradually decreased back to 130/72. My physician informed me that i was fine after a 24hr holter monitor and 24hr blood pressure monitor, heart and kidney ultrasound i was fit and healthy and not dealing with high blood pressure.. Meanwhile, over the passed 2 months or so I had been feeling terrible at night: Head felt like it was going to explode, sick in the stomach, palpitations, very anxious. The palpitations have happened 4 times over the last 3 months, which i went to emergency for. They would fine nothing coz they couldn't get my heart recording while i was having an attack. They tested blood samples, which were all normal and it was not my thyroid. This terrible feeling i get would pass, i would feel wonderful and happy, then it would come back i would feel absolutaly terrible, wanted to be alone, do nothing and just shout loudly from a high mountain. I was to scared to go into supermarkets for feelings of it happening while i was there as this had happened before. I am normally very comfortable in public, crowded spaces. When i get this passing feeling i cant talk to anyone and just want to escape back home. So it was decided by my gp that i had anxiety, boderline depression.. Anxiety due to the attacks i was getting, as I explained to her i feel like a have a neverlasting feeling of doom hanging over me. Even when i feel fine i still cant help but think at anytime i will feel terrible. Depression was diagnosed due to wanting to be alone, loosing weight and not feeling myself 100%. I started on beta blockers to treat my palpitations and headaches for the physical symptoms of anxiety (racing heart, migrains). These seemed to help the physical symptoms but i still had a general feeling of terribleness lurking over me. I dont like being on meds and was told to stop them once i felt better which i did. I am now on anti-depressants (citalopram / 10mg) which seemed to work well. I was starting to feel better, starting to feel myself again and socialise more. The terrible feelings at night started to pass and would only occasionally occur. This was until recenlty, i had to complete teaching rounds which brought forth ( 3 times now it happened when on rounds) this feeling again of head explosions, sickness, swollen tongue with teeth grooves imbedded on the sides of it. Each day has been a struggle and yesterday i was down the street, feeling fine when i suddenly felt like i was walking on a jumping castle, like very heavy but light headed and nearly fainted, basically just wanted to escape home, heart was racing from being anxious (which i have realised is the reason for the heart palpitations, being anxious of not knowing what the hell is going on). My eye now seems to spasm at random times to.. I am seeing my gp today who i think will suggest seeing a pschcologist to help deal with anxiety but it jsut seems like there is something else wrong with me that they have missed? Why would i suddenly feel like this and not be able to escape it? If i am suffereing from anxiety, why now and not when i was younger..maybe the first night it happened has brought on a sub-conscious anxiety that can come forth from out of nowhere? I just want to feel myself again and live my life without the constant itch of worrying and feeling of dread thats eating the back of my mind. Physically, Its a passing feeling of terribleness, but Phsycologically its always there if that makes sense? Please any help would be greatly appreciated