confused and dont want to admit...help!
Hi, so, im new to this forum and i really would like to get some advice from others who are also dealing with what i am goin thru. Only recently i have mentioned to my doctor that i throw up after i eat...i binge eat and then purge and then feel guilty and then be happy cuz i look skinnier...well my doctor says im overweight. I am 31 yrs old 5'3 and about 160lbs. I have been thru alot within the last year but i constantly struggle with thinking about what to eat and then think about the fastest way to get rid of it. I know i have a problem but i dont want to admit it.
I have lost 25 lbs since February but i want to lose 30 more...its crazy its my life thats all i think about...eat..throw up ..binge...purge..its a constant battle.
I have been reading some articles on what happens to a person on the inside like physically the things that go on inside your body when you throw up after meals or even in my case after a frappe or a small snack. I know my bowels are all messed up because i cant go to the bathroom or when i do i explode (kinda gross). i get stoamch cramps all the time and my throat is forever hurting.
I cry all the time im so depressed and sad and cant sleep. I have a beautiful young son (11yrs old) but he lives with his father and thats another issue.
Please anyone with kind words, please reply. I cant talk to my husband because he doesnt understand.