I'm just going to write the entire long story so you get an idea of EXACTLY where I am coming from...
I got married in February 2010, May 2010 I decided to stop taking my anti-depressants and birth control. My husband and I both said if it happens it happens if it doesn't then that's fine. In September 2010 I thought I was pregnant as my period was late but it did eventually start and I was a little disappointed. By November 2010 my depression had come back and had another pregnancy scare and I thought thank god I am not pregnant. I went to the Doctor beginning of December 2010 and she prescribed me my anti-depressants and birth control again and suggested I put off having babies until I felt better. My husband was not very pleased about this as he really wanted to have a baby and while we were quarreling about whether I should start the birth control again the inevitable happened...
I started suspecting I was pregnant late December as I felt really strange and was so tired I would fall asleep anywhere. On the 1 January 2011 I told hubby I think I might be pregnant and on 2nd I did two tests which confirmed it. I was numb, I told family and friends who were so happy but I just couldnt find the happiness. I had a terrible first trimester - nausea, aches, pains and all sorts of other discomforts and the whole while crying my eyes out because I didn't want a baby and now I'm going through all of this and I don't even want it.
I had a terrible pregnancy - physically and mentally. My doctor refused to give me anti-depressants despite other doctors saying there were safe ones. I was sick, tired, grumpy and terrified all the time and had ALL of the WORST pregnancy symptoms you can think of. I had to see a therapist to deal with having a baby as I just couldn't accept it. Don't get me wrong I loved her inside and did all I could to stay healthy but I just wasn't sure if I was ready. Of one thing I was very sure though from the beginning was that I wanted to have a c-section, I said I don't care what people say or think I want a c-section.
However, slowly over the months of pregnancy people were doing my head in with c-section stories - things like c-section babies are slow and you won't be able to drive for 6 weeks (I absolutely had to be mobile as we run our own business) it's so unbelievably painful and the scar is just terrible etc etc. And of course people would say how wonderful natural birth is and its what we were made to do blah blah blah. Our antenatal class was just the cherry on the cake - this nurse was so against c-section she totally ostracized the ones who were having c-sections and just carried on and on about how wonderful natural is. By this time I was seriously confused.
The day that decided my fate was the day we went to do our pre-admission at hospital and I put down natural birth. I left it at that and continued not giving it anymore thought, I figured I would have an epidural and everything would be A-OK.
I went to Doctor for a check up on 29 Aug 2011 and he said that I was 2cm dilated and that the baby will be coming within the next few days. This obviously totally terrified me and I forgot something else he said but that I will reveal later...
30 August 2011 - I woke up and went to the toilet, my mucous plug came out and I knew it would be happening that day. I stayed calm, got ready and went to work. I packed up my things and went home to setup my home office. I then went outside and just balled my eyes out as I was so terrified. This was around lunch and thats when the contractions really started to kick in. I still went and did a bit of shopping and finally at home the contractions were just insane. At about 16:30 I told hubby I couldnt take it so he phoned the hospital and the nurse said to take a pain killer and get in the bath. Well by 17:30 I was in agony and told hubby we needed to go to the hospital.
We got there at 18:00 and the nurse put me in the labour room and had to do a check (this was something I was dreading) and it was so incredibly painful I just burst into tears. The nurse started panicking and said I was 7cm dilated already and the baby is coming soon (no time for epidural as she did ask before she checked). So there I was I couldn't get an epidural and it would happen any minute.
The doctor arrived and broke my water, and the labour started. It was just the most painful thing I had ever experienced. The doctor let me tear instead of cutting which I was a bit unhappy about but anyway. She was born at 20:05, perfect and healthy with a great apgar score. (Baby is a happy, content little girl and has been since birth. I love her very much and feel silly for not wanting a baby but thats just how I felt in the beginning. Wouldn't give her up for anything in the world...) The doctor stitched me up and everyone did there thing and about 2 hours later I finally decided to try and get up (the antenatal class showed how a woman got up within 5 mins of having her baby... yeah right) to have a shower. Well that was impossible, I was just bleeding everywhere and couldnt hold myself up in the shower. So after soaking the towel with blood I got dressed and they wheeled me off to the maternity ward. I lay there with my baby for about an hour but it was getting late so I asked the nurse to take her to the nursery.
About half an hour later the pain started and I called for the nurse. I asked her for more pain killers but she said she wasn't sure as I had had just after the birth. She came through a few minutes later with more which only gave me about 15 minutes of relief and then the pain came again. The nurse checked me and the entire bed was soaked in blood, I could feel it but didn't think it was that much. She said if I continued to bleed they would have to put me on a drip. I just kept calling her as the pain was so bad and eventually she rallied another nurse - who held me down - while she did an internal to get blood clots out. Well I just about passed out from the pain, the other ladies in the ward must've really wondered what was going on. At last they stopped and I was sobbing when the doctor came. He gave more painkillers checked me and left. 03:30 I was calling the nurse again and said I just want the pain to stop now, it is so bad. So the doctor came again, checked me out and called another doctor. They thought I might have some placenta left and told me I had to go to theatre. That didn't even register because by that stage I was so over the pain and totally out of it. They made me call my husband, who I had told not to worry coming, to come over asap. Doctor put catheter in (more pain) and off I went. They put me under and I woke in the morning feeling like death and another doctor telling me I would spend the day in ICU and have a blood transfusion. Which made me ball again... I spent a day and night in ICU (couldn't see my baby) and had 5 units of blood. My HB count went from 12 to 4.
My cervix had torn during labour. The result of a bad decision from my doctor. The thing that I had forgotten about which he told me the previous day was that baby was lying slightly to the left. His exact words were: "She's lying slightly to the left which makes delivery harder". Every single nurse and doctor I spoke to said I was so lucky to be alive. But it gets even worse...
For the past 16 months I have battled to feel like myself again. I am on anti-depressants, have had my blood tested, thyriod tested and have regular Vit B12 injections but I am just so fatigued ALL the time. My work, house and myself have suffered. I am still hoping to find out why I am so fatigued but I am so very sure it has something to do with the blood transfusions and no one wants to believe me.
I really need help as to what I can do, the fatigue is so very bad and I have run out of ideas...
Re: Bad Birth - Serious Fatigue. Need help URGENTLY
What about your diet? Are you eating healthy foods? Exercise? Put the baby in a stroller and get out and take a walk. I remember after having a baby I always felt better after we got fresh air and took a walk. Just start out slow and increase. All you need is a good pair of walking shoes!
The Following User Says Thank You to mmisty For This Useful Post: Troly59 (01-28-2013)