Loss of my mother - Grief & Loss Message Board

jsmyers8000 · 09-20-2004, 08:13 PM

I lost my mother to breast/lung cancer on April 22, 2004. It has been almost 5 months and I still cannot bring my self to think about her and not cry. She was the strongest and must faithful person to everyone and everything. She never let the cancer beat her until the last three weeks of her life. I took care of her for the last three weeks. My family and I were there when she took her last breath and heard her last heartbeat. I really could use some advice on how to deal and move forward. I am not stopping my life. I am a wife and mother to two children. I help my husband run a business. So my life is moving forward, but I still feel like I am standing still without her. We spoke two to three times a day. I miss her so much. Please, some advice. I am not trying to run for my grief but I am getting pretty tired of grieving everyday for her in some form or another. Thanks to anyone's suggestions.

Jeanne
Montana

Soulcatcher · 09-20-2004, 08:30 PM

Look in your local book store on books about grieving. I know this helped my neighbor with the loss of her husband. I don't think there is a "way" to grieve. You pretty much do what you feel. If you talked three or four times a day like me and my mother do then how can you NOT miss her or grieve everyday? Who knows, maybe her presence is so strong around you that you don't feel too strong of a loss because she isn't REALLY gone. You probably know what she would have said before she said it right? Her physical presence isn't here anylonger but she will probably be inside your soul for a long long time until you see her again.

jsmyers8000 · 09-20-2004, 09:01 PM

Thanks soulcatcher. I am glad to hear some encourangement and great forethought. I never thought about her strong presence still in my life. We always joked that she would stick around to bug me after she died. Maybe instead of grieving I need to open my eyes to her daily presence in my life. I know she tries to tell me and show me things everyday. Thanks again for the great advice.

Jeanne

Soulcatcher · 09-20-2004, 09:04 PM

Your welcome. I'm glad your eyes are open to her presence that is with you.

MrOwl · 09-20-2004, 09:45 PM

A way that I have grieved, is by doing things for others, that my loved one whould have done if they were alive and able. That way my grief turns into productive action.