I have no feelings.. - Grief & Loss Message Board

Apocalypse · 09-22-2004, 02:43 AM

I was 9 years old at the time my uncle passed away and at the time I found out I couldn't cry or anything. I just sat there and watched the funeral and thats it. I felt nothing but just nothingness. i couldn't cry at all or even feel pain. 4 months ago my other uncle passed away and I was close to him he acutally passed away while I was at his house, he had a heart attack. It was very unexpected. When my father came to wake me up and tell me what happened I honestly felt nothing I was like "why? when? what do you mean?" and thats it I couldn't cry it just didn't happen. I don't know why It just didn't. at the burial I shed a tear but thatwas only after forcing myself too. whats wrong with me?

sawbuck44 · 09-22-2004, 07:30 AM

How old are you now? Anyway, most 9 yo don't cry at funerals. My sons went to their 8 yo cousins funeral when they were 9 and 12. What did they do? They played downstairs with the other kids there - laughed and ate snacks. When it came time for the service they were quiet but none were very emotional. As we get older we have more awareness of 'what if' and 'oh, look what him and his parents are going to miss.'

Young children still are living for the day. They don't get overwhelmed with sorrow. You will grieve in your own way in your own time. That is something that is very personal to your maturity and age.

Apocalypse · 09-22-2004, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sawbuck44

How old are you now? Anyway, most 9 yo don't cry at funerals. My sons went to their 8 yo cousins funeral when they were 9 and 12. What did they do? They played downstairs with the other kids there - laughed and ate snacks. When it came time for the service they were quiet but none were very emotional. As we get older we have more awareness of 'what if' and 'oh, look what him and his parents are going to miss.'

Young children still are living for the day. They don't get overwhelmed with sorrow. You will grieve in your own way in your own time. That is something that is very personal to your maturity and age.

now I am 16 and at the time my uncle passed away when I was 9 I knew what was going on I had seen him go through lung cancer for a couple years. I felt something when he passed away just not sadness same thing with my recent uncle that passed away this is many years later except I dont feel anything

susieq0726 · 09-22-2004, 10:52 AM

Maybe it's your subconscience working to protect you from the grief you would feel otherwise. Sometimes our bodies do weird things to shut out our emotions to keep us from feeling so sad.
I was close to my uncle too, but didn't cry when he died. I was sad and felt bad for his wife and kids, but didn't cry. Now if someone in my immediate family (mother, father, brother) died, I would definately be devestated.

Apocalypse · 09-22-2004, 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by susieq0726

Maybe it's your subconscience working to protect you from the grief you would feel otherwise. Sometimes our bodies do weird things to shut out our emotions to keep us from feeling so sad.
I was close to my uncle too, but didn't cry when he died. I was sad and felt bad for his wife and kids, but didn't cry. Now if someone in my immediate family (mother, father, brother) died, I would definately be devestated.

thats the problem I am thinking if something ever does happen to an immediate family I don't know if I will feel anything. And I dont want anything to happen to them. Life sucks it's hard to have emotions maybe it's because I am a guy