moments of pain - Grief & Loss Message Board

chelle85 · 11-12-2004, 11:49 AM

hey,

In april this year, my childhood best friend lost her mother to cancer. her mum was like a mum to me too, and she was always there for me when my mum wasn't. Obviously when she first died i was very upset, but i dont think about it all the time. One thing she helped me alot with was my Crohn's disease because she was the only person who'd been through a similar experience. Now when i get a flare up, i just wish she was here to give me advise and it upsets me greatly. How can i try and be positive? I sometimes even wish it had been me that died, not her, because she was such an amazing person

Ruth6:11 · 11-13-2004, 05:50 AM

You are still grieving so don't be so hard on yourself or expect yourself to feel "hunky-dory" by now...
This woman was very important to you and you've already done a very wonderful & positive thing by sharing your memory of her with us.
That's one thing you can do to keep someone's spirit or memory alive - to share what it was they gave to you here on earth with others.
You will tell YOUR children about her someday and in that way she will still live on - I can't tell you how much I believe this. My Dad died 3 years ago and sometimes I just know that the love I had for him and his love for me (his #3 daughter) is still as alive as it was when HE was alive.
And how special is that!!!
If you can, please share a little bit more about what your friend's mom was like, ok??

chelle85 · 11-13-2004, 09:26 AM

she was just so funny, always laughing and making others laugh! I never, ever saw her unhappy, even when her time was ending. she was always doing things for others, especially sorting her daughters problems out. I always remember how she loved moving things around in the house, so everytime i went i could never fiind anything! especially glasses for a drink. Actually, i do feel more positive now i remembered all the good things her life gave, and i believe i'll see her again some day

Ruth6:11 · 11-14-2004, 06:50 AM

She sounds like an absolutely wonderful person!!
Imagine that your child has a friend and meets YOU - a funny, always laughing person who always does stuff for others and who moves things around the house all the time!!!!
Wouldn't that just be a fitting tribute to her???!!!
It's hard not to start feeling a little positive when you stop and think about what someone has added to your life that can NEVER be taken away.
(How is your childhood friend doing?)

chelle85 · 11-15-2004, 12:27 PM

She's ok I spose, she handled things really well and she's grown up a lot over these last few months. She's a lot like her mother, and I always tell her which makes her happy.