sad and alone - Grief & Loss Message Board

seawater · 11-26-2004, 04:22 AM

Holidays are the worst, I know. My husband died in April at the age of 43. He wasn’t sick; he just never woke up.

I was still mourning the death of my parents.

Please tell me it gets better.

I am sick of death!

sweetangelbaby · 11-26-2004, 09:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seawater

Holidays are the worst, I know. My husband died in April at the age of 43. He wasn’t sick; he just never woke up.

I was still mourning the death of my parents.

Please tell me it gets better.

I am sick of death!

as time goes on your pain will heal. u won't ever forget them but just remember that u can do anything and it will be ok. i am here if u need to talk

renee_ky · 11-26-2004, 12:36 PM

seawater- It gets better, so I hear! I just lost my husband in September to lung cancer, he was sick for 9 months before he passed away, he was 45. This Holiday season will NO DOUBT be the worse ever! But, we can get through this, just not without that empty feeling, and a whole lot of tears! I have found that my friends are a very good rock for me, they listen and let me cry and cry. I also go to church more often then before, this is the BIGGEST help!

I know how tough it is, let the tears come when they want to, and then do your best to move past that moment, try not to get stuck in it.

Good Luck! Come here and vent anytime you need to, I will check on ya!

Renee

Uff-Da! · 11-27-2004, 12:50 AM

Yes, it gets better. I lost my husband May 2003. My situation was much different, though, as my husband was 83 and had had a major stroke four years earlier. So, since I believe that the physical body is just a temporary housing for the spirit, I am able to now visualize him whole again.

I still think of him almost every day, but in a different way. Of course I miss him, but I just thank God for the 39 years we had together. I no longer cry, but cherish the memories. My faith has been the main reason I've adjusted so well.

Yes, it gets easier over time. I'm sure the adjustment was faster for me because of my husband's age and health prior to death, but it will get easier, I assure you.

renee_ky · 11-27-2004, 07:58 AM

Thanks Uff-Da- I do believe God will heal us, in time. If we did not grieve and feel the pain of losing a loved one, how could we love anyone? That is what I think! I am sure that God did not take Scott from me, because he wanted me to learn things. But, I am learning! I have learned that I NEED God; He has always been with me, and I have always known that, but I need him now more then ever before. I have learned how to tell the people in my life what they mean to me every chance I get. I have learned the value of life, and I no longer take time or people for granted. I no longer say "I will call him/her tomorrow", if I think of someone and want to talk to them, I call them NOW. I have learned that I can yell at God, and he still Loves me. I have 2 nieces, when I look at them now I CRY, I see the beauty and innocence in their faces like never before, and I see how "fragile" they are, like life. Wow, I could go on and on with what I have learned this past year, but I will spare you all. Some days I feel like I can not pick myself up, but I do, I push myself and try to go on. It is difficult, but I know I must, I know my husband would not want me to fall to pieces without him, but honor him instead. Over the past 14 years, I have learned so much from my husband, and when I think I can not go on, I think of what he would say to me, and that helps me pick up and push forward. I am only 33, I know I have to live my life the best I can, and be the best person I can. Somedays are just harder then others, but I know I will make it. Like you, my faith is strong, and my heart is true to God. If I can just make it past these Holidays, that in itself will be a HUGE step!

Renee