Grief and Holidays - Grief & Loss Message Board

KandE · 12-10-2004, 04:38 PM

The holidays are suppose to be joyful times, but each year it gets worse. I loss my son 12 years ago (he was just 31 days old) and then 3 years ago (Nov 14,2001) Nan passed. Nan was the light of my life. We did everything together, she was "mom" to me. I cant handle it and I am falling apart.

SandraM · 01-01-2005, 04:33 PM

Sounds like you need to go to grief councelling. I know its hard to lose loved ones as we have all been there in our lives. I lost my best friend when she was 24 and I still have a hard time with it. But I try and not let it get to me too much. Learning to accept is the hard part. Good luck to you.

Sandra

GammaBx3 · 01-02-2005, 07:08 AM

KandE,

I'm usually just a lurker on these boards, but your posting touched my heart to the point I just couldn't walk away without responding.

You will never get over the loss of a child, regardless of how old he/she were at the time. It has now been 26 years since I lost two wonderful children in my life (ages 2 and 4, housefire), but I don't think a day goes by that somehow I don't think of them. Time does heal the heart, but it never takes the memories away. And when I start thinking of them, I always think of the good memories..their beautiful smiles, their hearty giggles. I don't know how you lost your son, and even though he was with you for only a very short time, the love you felt for him will never go away.

I lost my mom in July 2001. Everybody grieves in their own way. I still feel this loss in such a deep, profound way -- like it happened only yesterday. But then again, I force myself to think of good memories and the tears turn into smiles -- and one day, it will for you too.

Even though I am far from religious, I do believe that one day we will be all reunited again. I believe that my mom is now watching over my babies. And if this is what it takes to comfort my heart, then this is what I shall believe in, regardless of what some people may say.

If you find your grief so overwhelming though, you may want to consider grief counseling. There are so many wonderful support groups out there, it just takes some researching. I forced myself to go to a support group after my mom died, and it did help to talk with other people going through the same thing.

Take care and know that you are not alone. I am giving you a hug from within my heart.

GammaB

caddie · 10-25-2005, 08:43 AM

Sorry to hear of your loss. I too have lost a beloved son, suddenly, unexpectedly, one day after his thirtieth birthday in May of 2004. {removed} Parents, in-laws are all deceased. All that remains in my shrinking family are one surviving son and my husband. Despite it all, life goes on and you must carry on and remember that one day we will be reunited with those who have gone before us. God Bless.

LouB · 10-25-2005, 12:13 PM

it soo hard to move on, my other half want to go on holiday but i just cant face it, (lost my baby son to)

not sure what to say but if you feel it all getting to much maybe get some help.