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Old 07-05-2007, 09:38 PM   #16
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Unhappy Re: Miss my Mom so bad

Hi Darlene;
I went to a medium and my Mom came through and said many things we spoke about when she was alive. It was great , but I left feeling empty and needing more. I wanted so much more. Hell I want my MOM. The thought that she will not come through my back door ever again is more than I can stand. My friend says i have to many pictures of her around the house, but it's all I can do. I do wonder when I can think of her, without have a breakdown.

 
Old 07-05-2007, 09:44 PM   #17
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Re: Miss my Mom so bad

For those of us who sit there for their last breathe, how do you get rid of the image? That image of her with all the tubes etc. seems so dominant in my thoughts. I was lucky to have had her for 37 years but right now it seems so much harder to remember the good times. I keep going back to the end instead of all the good stuff in the middle.

 
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Old 07-10-2007, 07:29 PM   #18
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Re: Miss my Mom so bad

Hi, I am so sorry that you cannot get the image of your mom's death out of your head. I lost my mom 9 months ago and I held her while she was dying, it was one of the worst moments of my life but there is not a place I would have rather been in the entire world. I miss her so much too, she was my best friend. I hope that you can maybe see that you were with her for a reason and be thankful that you were there.......I am sure she wanted you with her.

 
Old 07-10-2007, 08:21 PM   #19
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Re: Miss my Mom so bad

I too lost my mom. She died at 8:25am on 8/29/2002 - two weeks after my 22nd birthday. She was my best friend also. She died of ovarian cancer - she was 43 years old. I remember everything: things she told me, the way she felt - she told me she wasn't scared, she just wasn't ready to die. The most helpless feeling in the world is seeing your lovedone, knowing their dying and there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING you can do to take it away and make them better!! I remember the feeling (which I can not describe) of having to take her belongings out of the hospital cupboards while she lay lifeless in the bed.

I am still tormented by horrible dreams of her being sick, and dying, and pleading on the phone with me to get there. I can count on one hand the number of good dreams I have had (2-3) and they help. I miss her SOOO bad still, and I still cry for her like a child sometimes. I got married last October, and that was soo hard without her. Now, my husband and I are trying to start a family, and knowing she'll never see her grandchildren breaks my heart. Her mom died young also; 44 of breast cancer. And I can remember my mom talking about what a wonderful person she was and how I would have loved her, but it felt so distant to me because I didn't know her. That hurts me also, because as much as I loved my mom and knew how wonderful she was, my kids are going to feel the same way Idid when my mom talked about her mom.

PLEASE don't avoid the doctor though. If you know something runs in your family, be preventitive so that if, god forbid, something does happen, they can catch it early.

 
Old 07-27-2007, 09:15 PM   #20
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Re: Miss my Mom so bad

Stormygirl are you still here? I feel like your story and mine mirror each other. I wondered how you are doing these days.

 
Old 07-27-2007, 09:18 PM   #21
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Re: Miss my Mom so bad

I'm proud of you in spite of your tremendous loss, you still recognize the need to be proactive in your care. I pray you will break that chain of BC with the women in your family. God bless you.

 
Old 07-28-2007, 02:36 AM   #22
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Re: Miss my Mom so bad

i have recently lost my dad i am 13 i am also going through what you have went through but my dad was murdered by a homless guy over a bottle of brandy im trying hard to get through how did you do it?

 
Old 08-19-2007, 03:28 AM   #23
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Re: Miss my Mom so bad

ummm... yae my name jose. i just got on in the middle of the night and i read a couple of the things posted up here. i just wanted to tell people wat happen wit me. i was 15 when my mom started havin pain. she couldn't go to sleep at night. she went to mexico because we are not poor enough to get medicare but we don't have enough money for hospitals either. she was diagnosed wit cancer. she was a kindergarten teacher. we didn't get along alot but towards the end we used to laugh and dance and sing together. i am in a gang so i was usually locked up or in trouble in school. but she still loved me. she stayed in mexico for a year. when she came back she wasn't the same person. she left again because the pain returned. she died recently when i was 18 on december 7th. the same day me and my ex girlfriend turned 2 years and 11 months of being together. i broke up with her shortly after. she died the same week as finals so i had to fail my classes in order to go to mexico to her funeral. i still go to college and i am now in charge of a house and two cars. i used to be a slacker and now i have so much responsibility. its real hard for me. sometimes i can't take it. but i just push through watever gets in my way and keep on living my life and askin god for help. thats all any of us can do...

 
Old 09-04-2007, 12:21 AM   #24
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Re: Miss my Mom so bad

Quote:
Originally Posted by lavender01 View Post
I lost my mom on 5/30/07 to lung cancer. I miss her so bad it hurts! I am ok for awhile then it hits me like a ton of bricks that she won't be back. I left next door to her and my dad. So it is very hard to still have to go out there everyday. I try not to go in her room - but I do sometimes pick up her coat and it smells just like her!
Seems like we lost are Mom's just a few days a part. I am coping but it is not easy for me. She was all I had. And nothing an no one can take her place. I'm really struggling to find my place in life without her love and guidance. I pray for you peace and mine.

 
Old 09-04-2007, 12:24 AM   #25
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Re: Miss my Mom so bad

Quote:
Originally Posted by aztek7777777 View Post
ummm... yae my name jose. i just got on in the middle of the night and i read a couple of the things posted up here. i just wanted to tell people wat happen wit me. i was 15 when my mom started havin pain. she couldn't go to sleep at night. she went to mexico because we are not poor enough to get medicare but we don't have enough money for hospitals either. she was diagnosed wit cancer. she was a kindergarten teacher. we didn't get along alot but towards the end we used to laugh and dance and sing together. i am in a gang so i was usually locked up or in trouble in school. but she still loved me. she stayed in mexico for a year. when she came back she wasn't the same person. she left again because the pain returned. she died recently when i was 18 on december 7th. the same day me and my ex girlfriend turned 2 years and 11 months of being together. i broke up with her shortly after. she died the same week as finals so i had to fail my classes in order to go to mexico to her funeral. i still go to college and i am now in charge of a house and two cars. i used to be a slacker and now i have so much responsibility. its real hard for me. sometimes i can't take it. but i just push through watever gets in my way and keep on living my life and askin god for help. thats all any of us can do...
Hang in there Jose. Know your Mom's spirit will alwasy be with you. Losing your mother is the hardest thing you'll ever have to do, so I know you will be fine. ANd they say the pain gets less as time goes on. I wouldn't know as it has been three months and it still hits me out of no where that she's gone. But in their honor we must keep moving forward.God bless.

 
Old 09-04-2007, 12:26 AM   #26
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Re: Miss my Mom so bad

Quote:
Originally Posted by Niki799 View Post
i have recently lost my dad i am 13 i am also going through what you have went through but my dad was murdered by a homless guy over a bottle of brandy im trying hard to get through how did you do it?
I'm terribly sorry for your loss. All I can say is it takes time. I hope you will recognize you are your dad's legacy and so you must make the most of your life. Forgive that man, pray for peace and grow up to be the woman that you dad would and is proud of. God bless U. Just breathe.

 
Old 01-19-2008, 01:44 PM   #27
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Re: Miss my Mom so bad

I think it's safe to say, when the time comes, we all will miss our moms. I'm 28 and an only child, and I still cry like a baby when the mood strikes me.

After losing an ex-girlfriend (who left behind a one-year old baby girl) at the age of 21, in February 2004 to a brain tumour, my mother was diagnosed with a form of endometrial cancer that June.

The first thing that ran through my mind was that it was my fault. I was three months premature, and the doctors had no choice but to perform a C-section on her. The thing is, and it's kinda weird, she had a birth defect: two uteruses. I spent a long, long time blaming my birth for her impending death. She fought, and fought hard, going through a few relapses. I became humbled, and just did what I could to be around her, and to watch in awe as she faced this with such dignity. After nearly three years of ups and downs, losses of hope, and a sectional remission, we got the news in February of 2007 that the cancer had finally infected the lymph nodes. Easter sucked, and so did the entire moth after. Unable to care about work or myself, I just stayed at her side for two weeks, and somehow went back to work.

Work did not last, and after a week, things finally made the turn, and I took off for my mom's home. I spent the next excruciating and psychologically damaging week with her in paliative care at the hospital. I even got the doctors to stand up and take notice of her decaying condition. Then, on Sunday, April 29, at 10:50pm, Teresa, holding her "Sunshine's" hand, exhaled one last time, and let go of mine.

All of us that knew and loved her, we were incredibly grateful for the brief time we had.

Oh, large parts of me would kill, in some magical way, to obtain something again. Not that I would even know what I want, and what I can barely acknowledge as what I was, is so far from possible, it just reminds me how far I still have yet to travel to gain peace.

Some of that peace came in the summer of 2007, when my father was finally taken from his six year tenure of suffering from strokes, cranial infarcts, and the physiological breakdown from a prior alcohol addiction.

Kinda of a cursed prayer had been answered for me. No more torment in watching them suffer. But now they're gone, and I'm an orphan, and intrinsicly alone. I railed against it for over two years, horrified of this eventual outcome, knowing how much I depended on them both (even though my dad was pretty sick and immobile at this point).

In time, I hope to cry less and less when I feel the urge that I need them for comfort. I have so much helping me. Great Uncles and Aunts, grandparents, and a great girlfriend. Without any of that, I would be truly lost and hopeless.


********
It's been several months, and I need an outlet to share that with. Just the typing, I hope, frees me a little more.

Thanks for your patience,



Michael C

 
Old 03-18-2008, 03:29 PM   #28
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Unhappy Re: Miss my Mom so bad

My mom died January 4, 2008 from lung cancer. We didn't always get along, but I loved her so much. I can't tell you how unbelievable it is that she's no longer here. Forever. It has a whole new meaning.

 
Old 03-19-2008, 07:43 PM   #29
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Re: Miss my Mom so bad

I miss my mom, too. I have chronic pain and she was the BEST listener, an amazing woman, and loved me unconditionally. She died on December 21, 2007. I miss her a lot tonight. -Sherri

 
Old 05-12-2008, 09:07 PM   #30
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Re: Miss my Mom so bad

So my mom passed away December of 1999, from breast cancer. I think about my mom every day and wake up several mornings, from dreaming about her, quite often. I'm hoping to find some strength in writing. I find myself crying about her still, this was my 9th mothers day without her this year.
I took care of my mom the last month of her life and before that, took to her all of her chemo treatments, I wouldn't change a thing, about what I look back on now, as quality time. She came to my house the day after Thanksgiving and passed away right before Christmas. I lost my dad 5 1/2 years before that, to a brain tumor. I have three sisters, but only talk to one of them, since there are some pretty intense feelings, between us (called a wicked step mother). At the tender age of 28, I was basically an orphan. All my grandparents have passed away too. Sometimes I feel so lost. I have no kids of my own and most likely won't have any, as I'm almost 37 years old. I guess I'm curious from others, what they do with their grief? What do you do, several years after the fact? Now when I date someone, I find that one of my first questions is about their family and how close they are to them. I have this deep desire for a family and someone to spend the holidays with. Sure, I spend the holidays with my best friend and their families and see my one sister, that I do still keep in touch with, but nothing compares to something that is your own. If someone would have told me 15 years ago, this is how my life was going to be, I never would have believed them.

 
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