my ex and my husband - Grief & Loss Message Board

warqueen · 12-15-2004, 08:11 PM

well i have many questions other than this one but i just wanted to know if thinking of my ex boyfriend thats daed after 4 years is normal. i think about him alot and feel like im not being totally faithfull to my husband.
its real hard for me because he killed himself and i play it back in my head with ways i could have stopped him.
maybe its some guilt but i do miss him.
im even more guilty now cause i dont share this with my husband.
is there some thing i should do?
please dont tell me to se a councilor.
thank you any advise would help.
i just want to get over my ex and not have to think about this any more.

renee_ky · 12-18-2004, 07:36 AM

warqueen- First, I do not think you are being fair to yourself, for trying to bear the responsibility and blame for another person commiting suicide. If this person already has his mind made up to commit suicide, you could not have stopped him. Sure, you might have been able to stop it for the moment. But ultimately, he would have done what he wanted. Unless you killed him, how can you blame yourself in any way? You can't! I think once you resolve this, these bad thoughts and memories will deminish. I am not sure how understanding your husband is, but perhaps he can help you deal with these feelings, if you talk to him about it. It might be worth a try.

Renee