I wanted to share this with you all, this is a letter I wrote a few years ago for a dear friend, who's family was increasing her grief by telling her to move on. I know it helped her and hopefully will help some others.
Dear.....
I know it's painful for you to watch me grieving, but this loss was mine, it is handled differently by each person touched by grief and as hard as it is for you to watch, it's harder to be told the positive side of something so devestating. Please understand that I will never move ON, get over it, or anything similar...I will eventually find my new path, but I will choose to walk down it when the time is right...and only I will know when it is.
If you would like to help me, please set aside any pictures you may have of my loved one, special memories, etc. and quietly leave them for me to deal with as I'm able to. Please don't offer what you can't or aren't willing to give, it's better just to give me a hug and leave it at that.
Please keep in mind, that although I cry tears of sorrow now, once I've cried enough, my memories will be happy again, but that's a work in progress and will vary day to day. If you're unsure, just ask me..."I don't know what to do to help you, what can I do to be of help?"
At this time, I may not know, but feel free to check back with me. Don't push me to talk because it's what you would do, everyone's different, just follow my lead and I'll show you what I'm ready to do.
Thankyou for understanding and being there for me. Hopefully you will never have to stand in my shoes, but know that if you are, I will do everything in my power to help you along the way, too.
So many people are uncomfortable with grief and say the dumbest things because they can't stand the silence....then they stick both feet in their mouth, the comes the awkward silence and that's about the time they lose your number because they can't believe how stupid they just sounded!
I've seen this a lot. I have lost my dad, sis, bro and several friends to car accidents, a cousin to rape/murder, uncle to murder, uncle to electrocution at work, friends to suicides, aunts/grandparents to cancer, you name it, they usually don't go quietly and it's usually those I love the most that leave the soonest.
The one thing I take comfort in is that I have a lot of angels looking over me and my kidlets....which, with my 2 year old, is a damn good thing!!! Trust me on this one! LOL But, it never stops aching, but does get duller and further apart.....but know in your heart, they are the ones who are just fine. So stop worrying about them. It's those of us who are still here that will continue to hurt and struggle with their loss.
Toodles for now, sweetpeas, if I can ever be of help, just holler and I'll see what I can do....
P.S. The worst year, we lost 7 in one year....grandpa to prostate cancer, grandpa to post-surgical bleed out, grandma to broken heart, grandma to old age, friend to suicide, friend to car accident and friend to suffocation from falling face down into a pillow after a seizure....that was an awful year, and one I hope never to repeat.
God bless you all and remember that sometimes falling apart is the only way to fall back together again.....something a therapist once told me....turned out it was a wise piece of advice although I wanted to box his ears for quite some time for that one!!!
To all of those still grieving 
Re: To all of those still grieving 
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