Hard for me every year in March - Grief & Loss Message Board

Kazyme · 03-03-2005, 10:34 AM

Hi,
I am new to this site. My name is Carol and I lost my mom almost three years ago this month. Every year I feel I am going to do better then last year but I am wrong. It still hurts very much and I miss my mom so much. I know my mom is with out any pain now .Like she use to always tell me the one's left behind are the one's who are hurting. I never really understood what she meant until she died. My mom had heart failure. She died in her sleep. I took her to the doctor and he said she was fine. But we knew she wasn't feeling all that great but never thought of her dying. I had just talked to her that Wednesday night and Friday she died in her sleep.. So you can imagine what a shock it was. I use to tell my mom I would die before her she told me no way. You know for some reason I never thought my mom would die.People use to tell me you will get over it soon. Not even , everyone grieves in thier own way and it could be until the day I die and maybe thyen I might not even be over it. From what I have experieced from death is grieving is like a roller coaster round and round you go and you are always back to where you started.Sounds crazy coming from a 49 year young person. To me age doesn't matter when your mom dies or a loved one you feel all these crazy feelings. It took me awhile to really believe my mom had died. I use the word died instead of gone because gone means the person will be back died means gone forever. It took me two years to say died. But I can say it now. My pain I had for my mom comes and goes but the missing and our memories will never come and go they will be with me forever. So to all that has lost a loved one or loved one's my prayers and thoughts go out to you...

Carol
California

moutain_man · 03-04-2005, 01:52 PM

i hear what you're saying. i lost my Dad 15 years ago, and a day doesn't go by that i don't think of him. I know he's in a better place and i have so many good memories to hold onto.

Kazyme · 03-18-2005, 11:59 PM

Hi
Yes you are right they are in a better place and yes we do have a lot of memories to hold on to but it is just so hard at times. I just wish loseing a loved one just didn't hurt so much or make you want to see them one more time. Sorry about your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you[/B]

renee_ky · 03-19-2005, 09:11 AM

My heart goes out to you. I agree, we never get over a loss. I lost my Dad 10 years ago, still hurts sometimes. And, I lost my husband 6 months ago, that will always hurt.

Renee

wmkcolors · 03-19-2005, 09:11 PM

My mom died of cancer two years ago, after a 3 year long struggle with her illness. I've been emotionally and physically exhausted ever since. I know what you mean about thinking, "She can't be dead." Memories of seeing her suffer haunt me. Before this, she never got sick. Fortunately, I'm close to my sisters. We help each other through the grief, but, a day doesn't go by, when it doesn't hurt. You're not alone. My heart goes out to all who are grieving....