Mom's horrific pain haunts me... - Grief & Loss Message Board

wmkcolors · 04-18-2005, 11:46 PM

My mom died this past year from cancer. She was in terrible pain, the last few months. Morophine wouldn't even help. She was still young. She'd yell out in pain, moaning in agony. I'd sit by her bedside and tend to her and feel so incredibly sad and helpless. I couldn't cry. I feel like I've been in shock. I feel frozen inside. Before my mom's cancer, I had just been treated for cancer as well, but I was lucky. It was caught early, but my mom's advanced cancer was like a second, bigger shockwave. Since she died, my mom's pain haunts me everyday. I'm exhausted with grief. I have nightmares of her screaming out. Has anyone witnessed their loved one suffer like this and how did you get through it? I'm exhausted.

tmarie · 05-09-2005, 06:31 PM

I am going through this now...my dad passed away April 23rd from cancer. He died at home which was his wish but watching him suffer was the worst thing I ever had to go through in my life. I would not wish what he went through or what we (my brother and I) on my worst enemy. He was 61. My passed away 5 years ago (in April also) She was 57. I have vivid memories of his last hours and it kills me. He did not want to give up. Once again, I am starting therapy which is very much needed. I went for therapy after my mom passed away(she took her life due to intense pain from fibro) and it helped so I am hoping this helps me once again. I feel your pain....

Ruth6:11 · 05-14-2005, 04:23 PM

My Dad died of Colon Cancer...
One thing that helped me was finding a Hospice Grief Group (even if your family member didn't use Hospice you are welcome) and going to their group. And there is no charge.
Just being with people who knew what I was going through helped so much. I felt so alone because my Mom and my sisters and brothers were all going through their own grief and pain.
I would recommend Hospice to anyone - both for my Dad and then for those who have a loved one who has died.