Two Weeks - Grief & Loss Message Board

Niname · 04-28-2005, 09:38 AM

Yesterday, it is two weeks since my Mom died. They said she had end-stage Alzheimers. I do not know and after all she went through with losing so many of her abilities and being bed ridden unable to even scratch her nose if it itched, I was not going to let her be bothered anymore. Mom lived with my husband and I for the past five years. Nine months ago I quit working to take care of her since we had a lady with her during the am's when we were working.

When she took her last breath I was holding her hand and reading to her a poem she had written to my Dad 18 years after his passing. The poem was written on July 27, 1996 and I had just found it that morning between pictures in one of her photo albums. Although I have to think that God purposely led me to this poem in which at the end she thanks my father for giving her me and how I spoil her.

I figure that she wanted me to see this so I would be allright. But I am not allright. I miss her so terribly. I can't stop crying, I can't clean her room. It smells so much like her. I MISS HER! She was my rock, my guiding light, she knew how to make everything allright.

cetiya · 05-06-2005, 10:54 PM

My mom was also bedridden and couldnt breathe. Her death was a blessing I guess, but I miss her every day. we became best friends and would talk to each other on the phone for hours. it comforts me to wear her rings, especially her wedding ring and to know the last thing we said to each other was I love you. try to find the little things that will give you comfort, and think of her with love. be glad you were there with her when she died. there isnt much anyone can say that will relieve you of this pain, just know you arent alone.

cetiya · 05-08-2005, 01:20 PM

I know today is a terribly hard day for you and all of us who dont have a mom on mother's day. I remember my first mother's day without her and it was sad. just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you. (and of my mom, Betty, I love and miss you)

Niname · 05-09-2005, 07:34 AM

Dear Cetiya,

Thank you for your kind reply. Yesterday was a very tough day. Thankfully, I made it through. That was my thought around 10pm. Thank you Lord, I made it through. There was a time during the day that I could not even swallow because of the lump in my throat. I too have my parent's wedding rings. My Dad passed away 25 years ago. I was thinking of getting a sturdy chain to put them both on and wear. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for letting me know that it is okay to do it.

God Bless You!

cetiya · 05-10-2005, 09:40 PM

if you can do it, try to find a picture of your parents wedding. I have a picture of mine on my wall, and when I look at the ring I am wearing and see it in this picture taken 40 some years ago, I feel so connected, it's a strange and powerful feeling.