this dosent really relate to me but,my step dad died and his daughter,my wee sister is only 7 years old .Its onyl been 8 months since he died.But he died in another country on holiday and she never got to say goodbye or anything.
My mom also died when I was 19. It was the worst thing I've ever been through. She was not sick; she died very suddenly of a brain anneurism....one second she was alive, the next she was gone.
That was five years ago and now I am able to talk about it, and her, more. The pain never goes away, but I find ways to deal with it. I find little ways to honor her memory like buying flowers on her birthday and mother's day helps me with the grieving process. It also helps to talk about it. Are you talking to people about your mother's death? How did she die? I'm so sorry.
Last edited by landlockedblues; 11-04-2005 at 04:38 PM.
I work with someone who's Mom had died last spring, his Mom was 0nly 45 years old. My friend is 24 years old and his brother is 19. About a week before Thanksgiving I had notice a change in my friends behavior, he was so tempermental and just wanted to be left alone. I knew in my heart what the problem was. This is the first Thanksgiving without his Mom. I just let him have his space. Just last week he came up to me and just stated talking about his Mom, He misses her so much, My friend has a little girl, he has joint custody of his little girl. He said it's so sad that she doesnt have her grandma any more. He told his Dad and brother that they have to put up the Christmas tree for his little girl for when she comes over. That little girl is going to bring some joy to there Christmas-she has a big job ahead of her and she doesn't even realize it. My friend had told me that right now he cannot handle any stress and he is having a hard time working, WE work in a store so you have to deal with customer all the time. My heart goes out to him and all I can do is support him and be a good listener. What kind of feelings are you going threw? My Freiend says life is so unfair.
I am so sad to hear about everyone's loss but it makes me feel not so all alone in this respect.
I just lost my father two weeks ago to cancer and I am 26 years old. I never thought I would have to go through something like this at my age. I have good days and bad days. I am still having trouble sleeping.
I just feel sad that he's gone, and that he won't get to share in my life from this point on. At least I had a chance to tell him I loved him one last time and I knew that he was proud of me and of what I have done with my life so far. It's still not entirely real to me that he's really gone, but I guess I will come to grips with that as time goes on.
I'm glad that I came upon this site. I lost my dad 3 weeks ago to Pulmonary Fibrosis. It was so sudden and unexpected. I am still in shock and so is my mom. Every once in a while I realize how great a loss this is and I feel like throwing up. I can't control when I am going to cry and I started having nightmares about his death.
I really feel for everyone who has posted. It is such a hard thing to lose a parent at any age.
I lost my dad to cancer about 8 months ago, when I was 1*. This is the first Christmas I will have spent without him, so i've been really sad and emotional lately. I'm so unsure of what to believe in right now. I just don't understand how it could possibly have been right for me to lose him. Plus, my mom just started dating again and it's been really difficult seeing her with someone other than my dad. I know she's lonely, so i dont want to say anything to her, but the last thing i want right now is a whole new family. Does anyone have any advice?
Last edited by Modinatrix21; 12-21-2005 at 08:45 AM.
Reason: Please dont post your age when under 16
I was 25 when my father passed away of cancer I found it somewhat scary to have to face the world without my daddy who I relied on for his unconditional love and support in all decisions I made in life. My dad used to travel for business alot when I was a kid and there are honestly times I have myself convinced he is still on one of those trips and will be home soon. Its unreal how your life can change so drastically so quickly when you are so young
I lost my father suddenly from heart disease when I was 13. I am now 31 and it is still horrible. I was Daddy's little girl and he was most of my world. My Mother started dating 3 months after he passed and married 3 months after that. We have had a charade of a relationship as a result so I felt I lost both parents within 6 months of each other. (I have heard the "its the way she grieved" crap, whatever...I don't want to hear it from someone who hasn't lost a parent...not you guys, but I have had friends try to sell me that line and it really pissess me off, my mother abandoned me for her love life...end of story)
It also meant we didn't grieve as a family...actually, I hardly grieved at all because I was supposed to accept my Stepfather right away. I think I go through rough patches around the holidays and important days. The hardest thing is feeling like I have no memories of him, or that I can't remember what his voice sounded like. Hands down the hardest thing I have gone through...and I am terrified, TERRIFIED of losing anyone else.
My best therapy is laughter and hugs from my husband. It is still hard for me to talk about, I hate crying or getting emotional in front of others. I also feel like no one really understands...and I don't want to bother them.
I think it will always be hard for me. I really do...
I lost my father when I was 19 from Hep C. Its been almost 3 yrs now. He got it back in the 70s from a blood tranfusion and it came out in 2000. He lived for a couple yrs after he found out he had it. My father was my world. I had a daughter in 2001 and she was 18 mos when he passed away. She doesnt remember him but I do have a ton of pics around and I tell her about him every day.
I lost my Dad at 11 from a major motorcycle accident which witnessed.Lost my mom 9 years later of Lupus her's was a slow death.I am 42 now , I only know it will get better and much much more of a lighter load to bear on your shoulders .
Hang in there.
P.s I'm very sorry for your all of your losses!
Hello... I as 24 when my dad died, and like you I wonder about my wedding day and my children. I told my mom that I feel like a butter fly trying to fly with only one wing... her being my other wing. I am sorry all of you have had this pain, my heart is with you~
I literally just found this forum online, and as soon as I read the subject I registered immediately.
I am 23 and I lost my mom 5 years ago in a car crash. Recently I have been having a really hard time talking to people about my thoughts and feelings, and it's driving me crazy. So often I feel completely separated from everyone around me, particularly when I am around young people, because part of me feels so old and removed from their experiences. Does anyone else have this experience?
The question I always have is, why am I so afraid to tell people that my mom's death is on my mind all the time? Is my fear more about their reactions, or my own?
I know exactly what you mean. I felt so separated from my friends after my dad died that I completley went into denial, and now, nearly a year later, it's difficult to bring it up. But i feel like i really need to talk to someone about how i'm doing, cause i'm not even close to being done with grief. I'm hesitant to talk to my friends about it because they can't relate and probably dont want to listen to my weepy stories all day long, you know? It's like i'm wasting my youth, thinking constantly about my dad and wondering if i'll ever be completley ok. i'm very slowly beginning to open up to my closest friends though, and they really try their best to sympathize with me
I found this site cuz i'm kinda feeling sorry for myself right now and it's comforting to find others around my age who have had similar experiences. I'm 26 and i've been losing my mom to cancer for a year and a half. She was given a 1.5-2 year prognosis and she is still in decent health but it's so hard to try to do anything with my life because i feel so guilty if i don't spend as much time as i can with her and try to be the perfect daughter. I've lost grandparents and friends to cancer and i've seen them on their deathbeads and i know soon enough it'll be my mom lying there struggling to breath and the thought makes me so sick to my stomache. It's hard because i look at her now and it's so easy to pretend she's not sick and it's so hard just waiting for it to happen, especially because i'm holding it all in and trying to live my life as normal as possible but the waiting is so hard. People treat it like i'm lucky to have her still, which i know i am because i can say goodbye and make everything right but at the same time just knowing that the worse is yet to come is driving me crazy!
I lost my Dad at 11 from a major motorcycle accident which I unfortunately witnessed.Lost my mom 9 years later of Lupus her death was a slow very different from my Dad's.I am[INDENT]now 42 , I only know it will get better and much much more of a lighter load to bear on your shoulders .
Hang in there.
P.s I'm very sorry for your all of your losses![/QUOTE]Any feed back would be nice thank's
I lost my mother when I was 18. I was a senior in highschool and she had been battling cancer (first lung, then brain, then ultimately pancreatic and liver) throughout most of my time in highschool. It was 5 years ago on Feb.18th. It is really hard, still. I miss her so much. I think about her every single day. It was so hard to watch her fight like a dog against such a horrible illness. I am ultimately relieved though that she is free from any pain and she is in a better place now. I was really close with her, that is why it is so hard. I sometimes feel like she was really the only person who understood me... It will get a little bit easier as time goes on. Sometimes it hits me harder than others. I feel her around me and know she is still in my life, even if she isn't alive anymore.
I was very young having lost both my parents by the time I was 18.
My mother died of brain cancer the day after my 5th birthday. My dad who was my best friend in the whole world died when I was just 18.
Not only is it difficult to lose your prarents anytime but its even more difficult to lose them when you are at a young age and when you are not financially independent. My sister was even younger than me when this happened, she was just 15.
Its emotionally difficult and financially it was very hard. The first couple of years were difficult as I was still studying but even once I was working it was still hard. I bought a house and car all by myself. I have to rely on myself for everything. I cannot take any chances in life as I have no security net. But I'm happy I've been able to achieve everything I have.
I'm now 30 and making a good living and am doing ok, but I still miss my dad so much. I dream about him all the time. As for my mother, I feel like I never knew her.
In all though we are pretty messed up. Neither I nor my sisters have ever had relationships, I think we are all very afraid to get close to others and take chances. I'm very much afraid of hospitals and doctors, I feel like people go in and never come out. I guess I have a lot of scars from all this even though on the outside everything looks ok. Nothing can ever replace the love and comfort of having a parent around.
I guess the most important thing I can take away is that particularly in my dads case, we spent a lot of quality time together. We travelled the world he gave me everything he could. Some people have their parents around and will never experience what I had.