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Saraw08 05-29-2005 02:12 PM

Young people losing parents?
 
Is there anyone else out there who lost their parents at a young age? I'm 19. My mom died in October of last year during my first year of college. Just looking for some support. Thanks!

tmarie 05-29-2005 06:52 PM

Re: Young people losing parents?
 
:angel: I thought I was young when I lost my parents but I see there are younger and I really do feel for you....I am 39. I lost my mom at 35 and my dad at 39 (1 month ago). I wish there was something I could do for you.....my heart goes out to you

LBrook 06-17-2005 10:03 AM

Re: Young people losing parents?
 
Hi,
I'm 24 and lost my dad to cancer about 6 months ago. It worries me that he will never be at my wedding, never meet my children (assuming I have kids), and the list goes on and on. So yea, being young I still wanna call my dad up to ask him q's and get his advice, or just share good news, and that hurts deeply.

Sooner_Magic_14 06-17-2005 04:43 PM

Re: Young people losing parents?
 
I'm 27 and I lost my dad just 2 months ago. Due to various circumstances, I was still living with him and my mom. Still, every day at about 12:45 I expect him to call to tell me when he'll get home that day, then every day at 4, I "hear" his car drive up. I still catch myself just short of saying "oh, remind me to ask my dad when he gets home."

cookingmom 06-17-2005 06:22 PM

Re: Young people losing parents?
 
Hello,

I was 26 when I lost my mom and I thought that that was young age. That was 20 years ago. I still miss her so much but I can say that in my experience, in time I have been able to focus on all of the wonderful times and the positive things. Talking about her becomes something that makes me happy You will always miss her but in time you will be able to think of her in a way that makes you smile. I know the pain you are in right now and I am so sorry for your loss. Losing your mom is such an unbelievably painful thing. I pray that you have someone close to you in your family that you can talk to. If you need to vent or just need some support, these boards are great. I will be praying for you. Bern

KittyAngel 06-19-2005 11:01 PM

Re: Young people losing parents?
 
Hi. I'm 14, and I lost my dad to emphysema in 02. I used to think I was over being sad, but I still cry every so often. I remember seeing a home video of when I was 2 years old, and my dad said 'She'll be in high school pretty soon!' and I'm going into high school this year. He also used to say he might surprises everybody and live to be over 80. He dide when he was 52.

alsaser 07-06-2005 10:40 PM

Re: Young people losing parents?
 
I too lost my mom at a young age, right after I turned 20. It was really horrible (cancer) so I turned to the Lord and He helped make good come out of it. (I know that's the last thing anyone wants to hear). But, I still miss her of course, her 9 year anniversay was July 3rd. It's hard to be young and without a parent because when you meet people later, sometimes they don't believe you that you lost a parent or they say cruel things or they just get all quiet and treat you like your different. I worked in a restaurant too and every Mother's Day was/is very hard. I had to wait on all these customers who had their moms! Why didn't I? They were out with their moms and all I could do was bring flowers to a grave. Also co-workers and friends talk about their moms and it's still sometimes like a dagger in my heart. Why is MY mom gone? I would even find myself angry with my closest friends at times like when they complain about their mom or just talk about their mom, I think "when I was your age MY mom was already dead! Why do you get your mom?!!" It just doesn't seem fair. But, you are not alone, and instead of crying to God, "why????" I can say, "thank you God! Thank You for giving me such a wonderful mom for 20 years!!!! Is having her for my mom worth the pain? Absolutley! If I could trade in my mom for a different one that would live longer, would I? No way!!! I was blessed to have such a wonderful mother for 20 years and her painful death was worth going through to have her be my mom!

kaia122 07-07-2005 10:43 PM

Re: Young people losing parents?
 
Hi, I can relate with you all. I lost my dad a month before I turned 17 to cancer. Now I am 25 and things have gotten easier for me to deal with, but for a long time, all I could remember where the times when he was sick and becoming worse and worse. That wasn't my dad at all. Now I think of all the great times we had. I was daddy's little girl and did everything with him. I will always miss him, but his memory (good ones) will always remain in my heart.

Kaia

Johnster 07-08-2005 09:07 AM

Re: Young people losing parents?
 
To all here posting,

“Young people losing parents”. I can’t imagine some of you at the ages you are. Alsaser makes so many good points. They were our parents and we would have never traded them for another. For some reason it is not understandable why they were taken from us too soon. Yet I find comfort and pride in knowing they we were allowed to share a piece of their lives and hearts with us if even for a short time. They helped form us and make us who we are too. We have been truly blessed in this.

As for what age is considered too young. I was 41 when losing my grandmother mother and father all in one year last year. It knocked me completely off my feet. Some say they and I were both too young too. How can we put an age on this for anyone? Life is so short. We are all children no matter what age. Now I cherish life and won’t take it or anyone for granted from this time forward. Too young for me are those who are babies. Those who will never remember. That to me is too young. All of us here feel and hurt more then they ever will from this, but that’s because you received a piece of them and their hearts and memories. We have been blessed with the gift of them touching our very lives and they are still there even in our hearts.

God Bless you all at this very difficult time.

JohnD

amaranthine 07-08-2005 11:52 AM

Re: Young people losing parents?
 
saraw08,

I lost my dad without warning at 21. That was a few years ago, but it has certainly shaped my life and continues to do so. Its very difficult to let people get close to me. At times I push them away out of fear, knowing they can die at any time. My dad was my favorite person in the world! I mean that honestly, it is not glorified in retrospect. I used to pray that if God took one person from me, it was NOT my dad (I have also had all of my grandparents and a few cousins pass, so the reality of death has always been in my thoughts). Life does go on though, and we must too, as it is what they'd want us to do.

I don't know what your specific situation is, but you can see that there are many of us in a similar, if not the same, boat. Feel free to open up & talk to gain some support.

amaranthine

not_myself 07-08-2005 01:39 PM

Re: Young people losing parents?
 
I lost my mother when I was 13 to suicide. I was an only child and she was a single mother so it was quite hard on me. I have only recently been able to forgive her and understand why she did it. She didn't leave a note. My life completely changed that day and got turned upsidedown. I went from being a shy, quiet, straight A student to a very angry, agressive wildchild. I got into drugs and alcohol to try and numb the pain I felt which was very silly of me considering it only caused more problems for me.

I'm now 26 and I have finally gotten over the anger and resentment and I can now begin to live my life again. I also see it as a positive considering I might not have the beautiful daughter I have today had circumstances been different. I still get sad about what happened and I miss her terribly, especially when my daughter asks about my mom and where she is etc.

My heart goes out to all of you who have lost a parent before their natural time to go. Just remember that there is no specific time that you should be over the grief..it all depends on the person. I can remember people telling me that I should be over it by now etc....it only made me feel worse.

A.

emaline 07-10-2005 02:07 PM

Re: Young people losing parents?
 
I really feel for your grief.... I am 32 and i loss my mother when i was 6 weeks old...she was 26. I never knew her , so in a way my loss is incomparable to yours. However the bond between our parents is unconditionally deep. There is not a day that i do not think about her.....that i smile for her...that i cry for her.....

but what keeps me strong is she found comfort in pain...she is at rest and she left a wonderful gift of life, whom is me.

6 months ago a very dear friend decided it was time to leave this madness we call life...he was also 26 but took the decision of death into his own hands, which some said was selfish in comparision to those who have no choice. This incident did make me revisit my grief once more for my mother at the same time as grieving for my friend.

Cry when you need to, smile without guilt, embrace their spirit when you need...call out their name when you feel alone...Grief will never leave you ever....but you should address it...dont be scared of it...dont hide it because there will be people around who can relate....

Take care and please find strength amongst your tearsx

SnappDragon 07-11-2005 10:41 PM

Re: Young people losing parents?
 
My Dad died when I was 22 years old. I am 37 now and I still miss him like crazy. My Dad was older then Mom amd I feel bad because she has no one to grow old with and go on vacations like married couples do when they are retired. I know she misses him alot too. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of my Dad. I also lost my Grandma at the age of 13 Years Old. She was the only Grandma I knew and that was living when I was born. I know God has plans for everyone but why does he take them when we are so young? :angel:

spag 07-20-2005 09:45 AM

Re: Young people losing parents?
 
hi

Unlike the rest of you I have not lost anyone but am preparing to lose my Dad to cancer. Unfortunately he is unable to beat it like he has been before. I am just 17 and my brother is 11. My Dad really wants me to go to university and is so proud that it is what i want but knowing that he wont see me go or see me graduate really hurts. Like some have said before me i would love my Dad to walk me down the aisle and see my children. Its not going to happen and we all have to live with that.

I really hope that I can be there for some of you but also that some of you can really be there for me cos i need some help to deal with this, it is so hard.

Take care and I hope and pray that you will be blessed with strength and know that your parents are looking over you and still loving you.

xxx

Johnster 07-20-2005 02:05 PM

Re: Young people losing parents?
 
Spag

My God I know how hard it can be. I have lost Grandmother Mom and dad all in the last year. I don’t think there is a way to fully feel right about it. The best feeling I do have that allows me to accept it more easily is the pride. Proud that they were there to raise us, teach us their morals, and give us their heart pride and love as your dad has done with you. He will be there always and for everything. He lives forever in your heart and your soul. I have said this to others before. You’re a reflection of what’s best in both of your parents.

God Bless and prayers to you and your family at this extremely difficult time.

Sincerely
John


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