My father died a month ago - Grief & Loss Message Board

Magnolia29 · 06-23-2005, 01:52 PM

My father died a month ago, very very suddenly. I'm only 18. Here is the story of what happend on Mary 10th 2005 (my mom's birthday):
I was always daddy's little girl. Him and I were so much alike it was crazy. We would always plan trips to florida, just me and him, and then tell my mom about it later, she was never happy because I always missed so much school! I love him so much and miss him like crazy.
On May 10th, it was just another normal day. My dad was feeling fine, in a good mood, and it seemed like any other day. Infact, he was set to umpire a little league game that day and was so excited, so he went out and bought all the appropriate new equipment and laid it out so when he got back from work he could just change into it and go to the game. I came home from school around 3 ish, and he said he wasn't feeling well so he went in to take a nap. It was my mom's birthday, and they were going out to dinner after he umpired the game, so she left to get new shoes to wear to dinner. I was in my room watching TV, so I didn't hear anything, but I guess my dad called my mom and told him he "fell out of bed", only there was no known evidence he fell, I think it is just because, he was in pain, but didnt want to admit it, because he is so stubborn, just like me! So my mom came home, and I left to go out to a friends, my mom said everything was fine and for me to just go, but then my dad kept complaining about chest pains, so my mom called the ambulance and rushed him to the hospital. My mom called me and told me to pick up my sister and to keep her occupied, she told me they were running some tests, and were sure he was okay. It was about 8 30 pm when my mom told me she wasnt coming home, she was going to stay with him at the hospital and for me to stay with friends. I was kind of worried, but I just assumed everything would be okay since he was in perfect shape that morning. It was 10:30 p.m, and right as my eye was about to close to go to sleep i get a phone call from my mom, I was very nervous for some odd reason. My mom told me she wasnt coming home tonight, she was balling. I found that odd because she had just called me two hours earlier to say the same thing. She said he was really sick. I then had my two friends drive me to the hospital. I was in such confusion I had no idea what was going on. i couldnt process anything. As I was walking up to the hospital, my uncle was waiting for me, he told my friends it would be best to go home, and he wanted me to go with him. Thats when I knew something wasnt right at all. When I got to the hospital, I saw my father, his skin was jaundiced and he had all these tubes in him. My mom told me to say something to him, so I went up to him and just froze. I couldnt speak or do anything, I just stood there. I wish I could have said or done something. I was just in such disbelief of everything that was going on. I did kiss his cheek though, and he tried his best to smile, or acknowledge me, that I was there. I couldnt take it anymore so my mom and I went to the waiting room. It was about 11:30 pm, and the doctor told us he wasnt going to make it through the night. That was the hardest thing, seeing my dad, but then knowing he wasnt going to make it through the night. He died shortly after midnight. He was only 47. I guess the official cause of his death was sepsis. His organs just randomly failed. I miss him and love him so much. I'm sorry for such a long post, I just needed to get this off my chest. Anyone have any suggestions to help me? Its so weird being so young without having a father.

aelisemc · 06-24-2005, 11:11 PM

I am so sorry for your lose. I also lost my father unexpectedly,but i wasnt as young as you are,i was in my 30's when it happened on May 10, 1998. You have wonderful memories of your dad and those are what will help you through this. One thing that I know helps is to look through pictures, take your favorites, make copies and use them to make a collage to hang on your bedroom wall. Than everytime that you look at them you can remember all of the good times. It doesnt take away that you have lost your dad, but it does make things a little bit easier. I know, I lost my 17 year old son to a rare neurological disease on May 14th of this year and I have taken his pictures and put them throughout the house. Memories of those that we love are what keeps us going. I will say a prayer for you and your family.

Ann

P00hbear · 06-25-2005, 01:01 AM

I am so sorry to hear this - when it happens so unexpectedly it is so hard. It is wonderful you were so close, so many do not have that and you have all your wonderful memories to hold on to, and the knowledge of the love you had for eachother, and I am certain your dad knew how much you loved him. There truly is not much that anyone can say to ease the grief, but you are in our thoughts and prayers.

spag · 07-20-2005, 10:59 AM

Hi Magnolia29

I am just a year younger than you and am 17. My Dad is terminally ill of cancer and isnt going to last that much longer. It is horrible.

How are you doing?

I'm here for you if you want to talk.

Take care

xxx

anninalbany · 07-30-2005, 12:30 PM

Magnolia:

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Your father was a young man. I lost my Dad over a month ago too. He was 79, but no matter what age your parents are, the loss and sadness are the same. My father was in a Nursing Home and declined very quickly from Alzheimer's, but he died in the hospital from Sepsis and Pneumonia. It was a very difficult to watch him die. They knew from the beginning he wasn't going to make it. It was just a matter of time. He passed away after 8 days. He was a wonderful father to me. I was his only daughter and he loved me more than anything in the world. He took me everywhere. He was my father and my friend. He was the first man in my life. I could always depend on him. I called him "Ol Reliable. My friends always told me how lucky I was.

God has his plan. I cherish my father's memory. In time, I hope I will forget the suffering he endured in final days, and the memories will be replaced with happier times. I always tried to love and respect him while he was alive. It's too late when they are gone.

Anninalbany