I can't cope with my close friends death.I need some help. - Grief & Loss Message Board

hoiz · 08-22-2005, 04:08 PM

I have tried to carry on with my life taking each day as it comes.I have tried so hard please believe me.Yet however hard i try to carry on with life as everyone tells me to, i can not fully pick myself up.Such a close friend of mine and my family was taken so suddenly from our clutches at the tender young age of 22.He died of ASDS (Adult Sudden Death Syndrome).Every minute of every day i am reminded of my close friend Andy, by pictures i have of him lovingly framed in my room, by music he favoured, by the smell of his aftershave so many wear, and its breaking my heart.I think about him every day and always will.I am already suffering from clinical depression, and with the horrible death of such a close friend of mine, hapening in such a fragile time in my life, has just set me spiralling down hill again.It has now been a little over 3 weeks since his death, and i already feel everyone has forgotton about him except myself.At the moment i am crying uncontrolably whilst writing this.I am so lost and filled with so much grief and anger.I cant bear this and dont know how much more i can take.I feel broken on the inside and shattered on the outside.I am told to carry on with life, but i dont know how i can right now.I now have a picture of him encased in a locket i wear close to my heart.
Im so sorry to burden this upon anyone who reads, but i am such a loss, i can not bear this feeling any more.

bkm4673 · 08-23-2005, 06:06 PM

hello! i feel your pain i lost my brothe Billy last agu. 28, 2004 he was murdered in a hospital and he was also my very best friend. People tell you it gets better but they also havent had it happen to them . I thought i would kno w what to do if something tragic happened to my family but when it does happen all your thoughts are out the window. I dont know what to say but i am very very sorry for your loss. It is very hard and i cant say it has gotten any easier i do catch myself crying when im alone. I am a 32 yr old male my brother was 32 when he was murdered. I AM SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS!!

aelisemc · 08-24-2005, 09:49 AM

In 1995 i lost my best friend due to a car accident that was actually her own fault. I missed her so much, even though we didnt see each other a lot, we talked on the phone for hours at a time. The last time we talked we talked about everything, so i have my memories of that call and all of my other memories to help keep her alive in my heart. I just lost my 17 year old son to a neurological disease in may of this year, so i am also suffering from that lose.. keeping a journal is a great idea, that and pictures, they are what has kept me somewhat sane these past months

BPe2005 · 08-29-2005, 10:50 PM

I am so sorry for your loss. I am also going through a sudden and tragic loss. A dear friend of the family passd away shortly after giving birth to her first child. She was only 25... I really don't know what to say, nothing really makes it better, but I did write a poem, and getting out my feelings about it really helped me atleast begin to understand how I'm feeling. Good luck, and just know that in time the pain atleast will become tolerable, and you'll learn to move on. Really the best thing you can do is to talk about it, with someone who will really listen.

trekgirl · 08-30-2005, 05:20 AM

Death is never easy to deal with, no matter if it is a family member or friend. It takes time heal from such an event and dealing with the passing in just as hard. Try taking to the reflect the good time you had with your fiend, then come back to the present and pretendthat the friend is there watching you like an angel. I did that when my mother passed. She is always watching me, angels stay very close by. Just take it one day at a time. Do not worry about others, you have your memories and you keep them very close. Have a blessed day.

trekgirl