anyone got any suggestions? - Grief & Loss Message Board

Tammy Spencer · 09-15-2005, 12:42 AM

Hi i just lost my hubby on august 3rd of 2005 and my father on august 28th of 2005 and i cant bring myself of doing anything with thier clothes,ect. i need to do something with them i keep looking at them and all i can do is cry i miss them so much i hate they died i try so hard to make it through the days but sometimes i dont want to just dont know what to do i feel like i am booting them out if i remove there stuff can anyone help me?

SandraM · 09-15-2005, 06:37 AM

Is there anything in your locality for grief councelling?

Sandra

aelisemc · 09-15-2005, 06:44 AM

I am so sorry for the losses that you have suffered and them being so close together. If you are not ready to do something with their clothes dont, of course they make you cry when you look at them, they remind you of two people that you loved very much. We lost our son on May 14, 2005 and we havent gotten rid of any of things, except for the diapers, formula and feeding tubes, we gave them to a local group that was collecting for the hurricane survivors and it wasnt easy to give those things even though they were not something personal of his, so i can imagine giving his clothes to anyone right now. When it is time to do something with them you will, dont rush yourself and dont let anyone tell you that you need to get rid of their things, it has only been a few short weeks take the time that you need and when the time is right you will do something with the clothes

mrsg1202 · 09-15-2005, 01:16 PM

When you do find the strength to go through the clothes, keep at least one article from each person and put it away in one of your drawers. I kept two half slips from my grandmother when she passed away and everytime I straighten out my drawers, I think of her. She's been gone about 15 years.

smc612 · 09-15-2005, 02:48 PM

same here. i always kept something. have a box with pieces from different people. when my daughter passed it took almost a year to go through her things. 8 years later i still have a pocket book of hers that i can't even look in. everytime i try i have major anxiety and can't stop crying. so i have it just the way she left it.