My dad died of cancer on January 22 of this year. He was diagnosed in July 2005. I feel an emptiness in my heart that I cannot describe, and I am worried because I cannot cry. I cried a lot while he was sick, especially the last few days during hospice care. I was extremely close to my dad - we always had such a special connection. I'm only 24 years old, and it's only been a couple of years since I lived at home. Sometimes I feel like I'm doing okay, and other times I feel like my insides are eating themselves.
I know this just happened, and I have a long road of grief and coping ahead of me, but I'm just wondering if anyone else had this same experience of feeling like you need to cry but you just can't. How can I make myself cry? Will I feel better if I can cry? I guess it seems like there are all these tears inside me that I can't get out. Even when the sadness feels overwhelming, the tears get caught in my throat.