My wife is grieving... It's very difficult to watch
My wife lost her brother on 1st of July and it is tearing me apart watching her grieve.
My wife is from the US, which meant getting her on the first possible flight out to the states to be with her family and for the funeral arrangements.
It turns out that although he may have died during a freak accident at home, his girlfriend at the time has suddenly got very cagey about events and has fled the area. She is also phoning and emailing his friends with different stories about the event, which is really not helping the family come to terms with their loss.
My wife's brother was 26, just 14 months younger than my wife and while she has other brothers and sisters through her parents' previous marriages, this was her only sibling. Of course, they didn't always get on well and last time they met at Christmas they parted under a cloud.
My wife has understandibly taken the loss of the brother badly, the only way I can describe it is that she is devestated. My wife has decided that she wants to move back to America and hook up with all her old school friends. She's even created a page to try and track them down. The upsetting thing about that is that while our children are mentioned on the website, I am not. There are pictures of the children on the website, but while we have loads of photos of us together, she hasn't and posted any photos of me. It wasn't until I pointed out that she had put her status down as In a relationship instead of Married that she changed it. It's almost as though I don't exsist anymore.
Since my wife got back to England, I feel she can't stand me being around her. I'm an affectionate person and before her brother died we would often sit on the sofa and cuddle while we watched TV and we got on like a house on fire. NOw, She barely likes me touching her and is always so closed off. I'm not alsking for anything more than to be able to hug her, kiss her forhead and to reassure her that I'm here for her, but I'm not allowed. More often than not, her arms are crossed, giving me the body language of stay away, whenever I try to comfort her.
It is so difficult to watch. I've never lost an immediate family member, so have no idea what she is going through, but I'm here for her. I love my wife with all my heart, but the beautiful, girl I kissed goodbye to at the airport isn't the same one I picked up two weeks later. I know things have changed in her life, but I really feel like I'm being pushed away from her life and feel very disposable as a result.
This whole situation is tearing me apart. I'm not eating properly, can't concentrate and just feel empty inside. I hate to think what my wife is going through.
If anybody has any advice on this subject, I'd love to hear it, no matter how small it seems. I'd be so appreciative.
Last edited by moderator2; 07-29-2006 at 05:45 PM.