It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Grief & Loss Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 10-26-2006, 02:21 AM   #1
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: DONCASTER SOUTH YORKSHIRE UK
Posts: 11
fabulous40 HB User
Auntie of 'Hit and Run' victim

I just joined this site in an attempt to get some support from anyone who is going through or has been through what I am attempting to get my head around. My brothers 7 year old son was killed in an hit and run 6 weeks ago. Each day gets worse and I am now suffering from depression. I just cannot accept this has happened to such a beautiful sweet little boy and that I will never see him again. Please help. Elaine x

 
Old 10-26-2006, 07:13 AM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 3,336
Ruth6:11 HB UserRuth6:11 HB User
Re: Auntie of 'Hit and Run' victim

First of all, let me say that I am so sorry...
There is nothing so totally un-understandable as the death of a child. When I went to a grief group at Hospice when my dad died they mentioned that there was a separate group for those who had lost a child... that the loss was so totally different from those of parent's or grandparents or even spouses.

Also, I work at a funeral home. And while we are sensitive to all families, when there is the death of a child even we, the staff, are affected.

There is no way someone can say "I know how you feel" unless that same loss has happened to them.
That is why one of my first suggestions is to look for a support group for people who have had the death of a child. Hospice is good here in the states, and their grief groups are for everyone - not just those who used hospice.
It just plain helps to be with people who DO understand what you are going through and who don't say things like "you have to move on" (I hate that one!)

Another thing is to write your nephew a letter or two. Just sit down and write to him about missing him, a favorite memory or three, what you are doing.
There is a connection when you are writing that is comforting - you could end up with a small collection of warmth/caring.

Grief doesn't ever go away. It's as if grief is a huge jagged rock that has been tossed into the stream that is your life. There it sits.
Over time, the water slowly smooths away some of those jagged edges, and in time the jagged rock becomes a smoother & more familiar boulder that you can still visit to think about the person who died but without quite as much pain.

Is the depression you are feeling still affecting your ability to work, take care of things at home, etc?
If so, you may need a few weeks of an anti-depressent. Yes, you don't want to be on one forever, it's important that you still go through the grief process. But for a short period of time it can be of real help.

Let me know how you are doing, and if it is not too painful a little bit about your nephew. I remember that I wanted to talk to people about my dad after he died and everyone seemed so uncomfortable about it...
Share if you want to, ok???!!!
Hugs,
Ruthie

Last edited by Ruth6:11; 10-26-2006 at 07:14 AM.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 10-27-2006, 01:36 AM   #3
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: north west england
Posts: 41
loboo HB User
Re: Auntie of 'Hit and Run' victim

Elaine, I can not imagine what you are going through. My sister lost her daughter last year and I only know what I have seen, her pain, unless you are feeling the pain you never really know, but I send you love and hugs. I am 34 and lost my Dad- he was 71 and the pain and greif from his loss was unbeleivable. But for a child so young to be lost, and in such a way is so ....well i cant even imagine.

Ruth your words :
Grief doesn't ever go away. It's as if grief is a huge jagged rock that has been tossed into the stream that is your life. There it sits.
Over time, the water slowly smooths away some of those jagged edges, and in time the jagged rock becomes a smoother & more familiar boulder that you can still visit to think about the person who died but without quite as much pain.
Are so comforting and also true, it is amazing you have been able to put it into those words, thank you. When I have a bad day about my Dad I will read them x
Lois

 
Old 10-28-2006, 01:50 AM   #4
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: DONCASTER SOUTH YORKSHIRE UK
Posts: 11
fabulous40 HB User
Re: Auntie of 'Hit and Run' victim

Dear Ruthie and Lois, thank you both so much for your kind words. I think the most difficult thing to understand/accept is that Kyle has been taken from us because of someone elses actions and whatever his punishment it wont bring our Kyle back. Our lives will never be the same but the driver will serve his sentence(if he infact gets one) and then will carry on as normal. Kyle was such a sweet little boy, he had the most gorgeous smile you could imagine and was always full of fun. He was my brothers only child. My parents only grandson. My one and only nephew. It is just so very tragic. I have 2 daughters 10 and 4, my eldest knows what has happened and attended the funeral, the youngest knows nothing and chats away about him as usual. It is her birthday next month and I had already written out Kyles invitation, I am dreading her asking where is he. I am going to the doctors next week to get some anti depressants and sort out some counselling, but thought this site might offer support when I am at home and feeling low. So thank you once again for your replies and I send you both love and strength to get though each day. Elaine x x x

 
Old 10-31-2006, 04:01 AM   #5
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: north west england
Posts: 41
loboo HB User
Re: Auntie of 'Hit and Run' victim

Elaine you are so right, when you are at home feeling low, drop on here, it helps to be able to put into words what is swimming round in your head. And we all here have one thing in common - greif. Yep it comes in different ways but we all understand and can comfort each ohter. Let us know how you are getting on x

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Very Sad Auntie bonita77 Grief & Loss 1 09-25-2009 06:29 AM
Soon-to-be-Auntie needs help! havefaith91 Pregnancy 1 05-03-2009 03:36 PM
Auntie of 'Hit and Run' victim fabulous40 Death & Dying 15 11-03-2006 10:10 AM
Today I became an auntie... pantera78 Miscarriage & Still Birth 2 10-05-2006 10:10 AM
My daughter is Bipolar and I want to run away! LAP18 Bipolar Disorder 19 09-16-2006 07:40 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Ivorygirl (13), rosequartz (11), slenderella (8), JJ (4), writeleft (4), Charlyssa (3), jesseca (3), caringsister54 (3), Kali333 (2), joybob (2)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1006), Apollo123 (906), Titchou (850), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (759), ladybud (755), midwest1 (669), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (607)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:27 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!