| | Re: Missin him sooooooooooo much!
That's not a thumbs up, it's a helping hand.
Please believe me, I know about losing sons. My eldest son died of a ruptured brain aneurysm on the day we had thought we would take him home. He was hit by a car in front of his high school. There is a period of 3-4 days that are completely gone from my memory. What I remember is that for literally months I moped around and didn't get dressed until about three in the afternoon so I'd have clothes on when the other kids got home from school. Recovery seemed to take forever.
Of course, I still think of him. His picture is on my wall with my other kids.
I believe what saved my sanity was being offered a job. The personnel man from my hubby's office called and asked me to fill in for a secretary that was on maternity leave. That job got me out of myself and on the road to recovery.
I recently buried my second son, my youngest child. His death was not sudden. He had not been expected to live until Thanksgiving of last year, but he made it to September 1st of this year - my wedding anniversary. My husband passed away in 1998. I have been on anti-depressants and am seeing a counselor. Clinical depression seems to run in my family, therefore the medication. Don, my younger boy, was gay and died of AIDS complicated by drug addiction. He hated his life because it was merely an existence. He was bed-ridden and in pain. He is now with his Dad and his big brother, and that is a good thing.
Truly, you should find a counselor. If you only see him or her a few times, their expertise can help you get on with life. I made a call this morning to volunteer at an adult day care facility. I like giving of myself, and yes, I again need something to take me out of myself.
You'll make it - it just takes time.