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Old 11-12-2006, 11:59 AM   #1
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loboo HB User
Today was a bad day

Lost Dad 10 months ago .... you go along and you think your ok, coping quite well, getting by....and then wham - for no reason you are thinking about the actual passing and you are back right where you were 10 months ago.
What makes it really bad is my 9 year old daughter, she is right back where she was 10 months ago. It hurts to have her in my arms crying because I totally know the hurt and pain she is feeling, but it must be worse for her, a child feeling this much loss. She told me she wishes she could die.. not forever ... just for a little while so she can go and get a cuddle of Grandad. She says she doesn't want to talk to a stranger about how she feels about Grandad, but I am starting to get quite worried. She says it makes her cross when people say it gets better with time, she says it doesn't get any better you just don't have a choice... you just keep going... wise words from a little girl who just wants her Grandad back here.
I wonder when we will manage to get through a full week or month without crying. It must happen, it used to be every day we would cry... I guess it is getting better then. Sorry for rambling - I just needed an outlet... thanks guys and thanks for this message board

 
Old 11-12-2006, 01:27 PM   #2
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meeshy HB User
Re: Today was a bad day

Hi loboo

Don't apolisage....actually i have also just had my 12 year old daughter sobbing her heart out about 20mins ago.....my mum died 4 weeks ago tommorrow...am watching each hour that goes by starting now and reliving being by her bedside in the hosipital whilst we watched her slip away from us......

Feel free to post as we know all to well what this pain feels like...am lost and sobbing everyday like a child not a 37 yr old mum of three....

Hugs

Meeshy
xx

 
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Old 11-12-2006, 02:58 PM   #3
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susan kay HB User
Re: Today was a bad day

Hi I Am So Sorry For Your Baby Girls Hurt And For The Hurtting Heart That She Mostly Likly Dosent Understand. You Know It Is Hard Enough For Us Adults To Soak In When We Lose Someone Suddley As I Did Or Wheather It Is A Long Time Suffering That You Can Do Nothing About. But For A Childs Mind It Is Hard To Even Think About ;death' But It Experience It With A Loved One It Must Really Be Tough. Allow Her To Cry To Talk About It To Ask Her If She Remembers When Grandpaw Rode Her On His Sholders[i Remember Mine Doing That] Or His Strong Hugs, My Be They Did Somthing Special Does She Have Or You Have Any Pictures Of Them Together Let Her Put Those In Her Room So She Can Look At Them When She Feels Like It. And For You Cry Talk To Him Keep Something Of His Where You Can Look At It. I Have Moms Planter Thingy And Her Anniversery Ring And Her Cross Neclace. Her Sunglasses And Her Purse. Every Thing Is Still I Her Room I Csnt Go In There Yet. Use This Message Board It Has Been A Life Saver For Me. Susan Kay

 
Old 11-13-2006, 02:36 AM   #4
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loboo HB User
Re: Today was a bad day

Thanks Meeshy, Thanks Susan I relate to what you both say. I am 34 mum of 4, but other than my hubby and my kids my dad was my world. I have a big red box with cards and his glasses, photos, his army cards etc etc in it so I have put that in her room so she can look at it whenever she wants too. And we all tend to cry together, which I think is good? I don't know how any of them are coping because i just seem to get it together then lose it again. A freind told me that it is only after the first year anniversary that you start to really get it together.... lets hope so
Thanks for replying ...it really does help
love n hugs
Lois

 
Old 11-13-2006, 06:05 PM   #5
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susan kay HB User
Re: Today was a bad day

a whole year of feeling like you are about to fall of of a cliff. i dont know if i can hold on that long. ? my birt day is wendsday and mom and i would always sopend it togehter and now this year i have this viris i brought home from camping and i cant spend it with ni one but smoke joe [ hes my cat.] i feel like i am going to lose my mind seems like no one in my family wants to discuss anything. they are all worried about the propert and who is geting what and if my sister comes home from cail. to live what she will do. a whole year oh i dont know. may be if i could have said good by to mom or maybe if she would have taken better care of her self to begin with my feelingsare so messed up i guess i just need to go to bed at worry about it another day after me and daddy fix my water leak i found when i got home today. crazy house reservations any one?

 
Old 11-14-2006, 01:41 AM   #6
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loboo HB User
Re: Today was a bad day

i live in a crazy house too!!!. I didn't mean to scare you with the year thing Susan, we were crying daily somedays all day, then we could all manage a few days where we were ok then we could manage a full week with no tears, then a couple of weeks and now we have some good months and some bad days in them.
So I really am not lying when i say you do get through
It is good to have an outlet when we have those bad days, and thanks to your lovely reply i feel more positive than i did the other night. I hope your days of feeling postiive and remembering the good fun times with your Mom soon come
xxxx

 
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