I miss my Mom so much... - Grief & Loss Message Board

Bill J · 11-14-2006, 08:08 AM

First time here....

I lost my Mom to cancer on Jan. 12 2006, I spent the last four days with her in the hospital day and night even though she was in a semi-coma I could'nt stand the thought of her being alone. It's been 10 months and I'm still haunted by those last few days and that look of death on her face after she went. I have no family now accept for an alcoholic brother who has'nt been any support, we were so close, she was like my best friend. I think about her a hundred times a day, I'm just dreading the thought of christmas coming and right after that the one year anniversary of her death. The year has been full of anxiety and depression. I try to stay positive by reading inspirational books and praying to God, but I feel if things get any tougher I won't make it, don't know what else to do. I thought joining this website would help being with people who understand.

Please respond.

Yours truly.

Bill J, Toronto, Canada

meeshy · 11-14-2006, 09:03 AM

Hello Bill

I can understand what you have posted....i have also just losted my mum 4 weeks ago yesterday....and i have the image of her in my head also all the time...the whole time she was in hospital, i went up everyday apart from the vey odd afternoon when others where going or i had my children to sort or collect from school....i miss her so badly, my heart is also breaking..i feel lost although i have my own family its not the same as your mum..i know that sounds harsh but your mum is your mum....my mum died on 13th October...just about two weeks later it was her birthday and of course yesterday was 4 weeks to the calender month of her passing and as for christmas i don't even want to go there...although its everywhere at the moment...its just to much am in too too much pain....

Myself, dad and brother and sisters spent over 20 hours also at her bedside whilst she lay dying....that image is in my head also..no escaping at the mo....

You take care...hope by knowing others feel the same pain helps in someway...as we can relate and understand it also...

Hugs
Meeshy
xxx

Bill J · 11-14-2006, 11:14 AM

Hello Meeshy

Thank you for your kind words and your quick response, My heart goes out to you as well, I remember how devastated I was the first month and the emptiness. I hope your Mom did'nt suffer. All I can say at this point is be kind and gentle with yourself and give yourself time to grieve, maybe find some good books on the subject and rely on your family to get you through. I'm sure your Mom is looking down on you and you can still tell her you love her. Take care for now.

God Bless

Bill J

Bill J · 11-14-2006, 11:15 AM

Hello Meeshy

Thank you for your kind words and your quick response, My heart goes out to you as well, I remember how devastated I was the first month and the emptiness. I hope your Mom did'nt suffer. All I can say at this point is be kind and gentle with yourself and give yourself time to grieve, maybe find some good books on the subject and rely on your family to get you through. I'm sure your Mom is looking down on you and you can still tell her you love her. Take care for now.

God Bless

Bill J

susan kay · 11-14-2006, 02:51 PM

Hi Bill I Am So Sorry For You Losing Your Mom To Just Read My Post I Can So Understand Your Feelings Kathryn Says I Have To Let Go Of My Guilt Because Of Me Being In The Hospital At The Same Time And That She Didnt Take Better Care Of Her Self Hand I Get Agravated At My Dad Because He Says Some Dumb Things Somtimes That Remind Me He Is Letting His Mouth Over Ride His Thinking Although I Love My Dad I Am Daddys Baby Girl Even Though Im Grown. I Dont Know What To Tell You Is Just Take Each Day As It Is Grive If You Feel Like It And Then The Next Day Try To Have A Better Day I Have My Good Days And My Bad Days Depends On How Stress Ful It Was At Work . I Will Add You To My Prayer List Every One Has Been Wonder Ful To Me On This Board Kathryn You Know You Are Special To Me Thank You Susan Kay