Depression is bad again! - Grief & Loss Message Board

CoyoteBound · 12-02-2006, 05:57 AM

November 29, 2006 was 2 years since I lost my sister. March 28, 2006 was 8 months since I lost my Mother and I have been so depreseed latley. I didn't even want to cook Thanksgiving Dinner but I knew thats what my Mother would of wanted me to do to try and keep the family together. For 3 days, I would cook and cry, cook and cry and I just can't seem to pull out of this now. I know it hsn't been long since I lost my Mother but it's like I don't want to keep on living with out her. She wasn't just my Mother, she was my best friend and I never realized what it would be like to lose a parent and I lost my Daddy Aprol 1, 2006 so I don't have either one of them. Sorry, but I just had to get it out because I felt like I couldn't take it any longer. Thanks for listening to me.

serinity · 12-02-2006, 02:01 PM

CapCityGirl,

My heart goes out to you. I know how you feel. I lost my dad on November 29, 1991, and I lost my mom February 18,2006. When I lost my dad 15 years ago it felt like my world just ended, but I had my mom and we got through it together. When I watched my mom take her last breath, I wanted to go with her. She was not only my mom but my very best friend. And it is so hard to go on . I , like you dont know how I made it through Thanksgiving .My mom loved cooking and Thanksgiving was always a very special holiday for us.My mom had tried last year to teach me to bake a buttermilk pie and I tried but it just didnt turn out right, so she and I together baked another one and it was perfect.
This year my daughter and I baked a buttermilk pie and when we pulled that pie out of the oven, I cried , because right in the middle of the pie was a perfect shaped golden brown heart. And I know the only explanation for that heart was that mom put it there.

MAD MAZ · 12-02-2006, 03:50 PM

Hi capcitygirl, I so know how you are feeling I lost my dad in june of 1999 he was 61 years old.

I also have lost my dear mum on the 2nd febuary 2006 she was also 61 years old and was my bestest ever friend, Oh how I so miss her everyday I still cry so I know it is so hard and lonely, we are nobodys daughter anymore.

I have real bad anxitey I have been ill with lots of real health problems wish makes me panic more.

Do you have any kids are you married do you have some surportfrom family...take care...Mandy

CoyoteBound · 12-03-2006, 03:38 AM

I would like to say first how Sorry I am for ya'lls loss as well. You know how I feel then and it's very hard. My Mom was my best friend and we never ever had a cross word as long as she lived. I think about my Mom all the time and cry, but I know that she is not suffering anymore. That was her last words to me for me not to grieve over her like I did for my Daddy and my Sister but that was easy for her to say that to me but she really didn't want me to be sad but when you love someone so much and then there gone, it's tuff.

I do have a hudband and a son and neither one of them really likes to discuss it with me because they know that when I go to talking about her I just lose it. I can't help it though. Just like you mentioned about the Buttermilk pie you made, well my Mom always made a Orange Slice cake and I had watched her bake it but I done it by my self this year and it turned out great. But I know my Mom was standing right there by me helping me make it too. I thank you 2 so much for responding back to me. It helps when someone will talk with me about my Mom and like i said my son and husband don't talk much about her because they know whats gonna happen to me when they do. My son was just like a son to her and he misses her too and grieves just like I do but he keeps his feelings bottled up inside and thats not good!

Thanks again!
Jan

susan kay · 12-03-2006, 08:03 PM

hey its me/ fudge/ i am going to miss moms fudge this year. she would make it because she knew i liked it so much. and momwould put our favorites under the tree. mine other fav. was choc. covered cherries. she would actully wrap our fav. my brother randy he is 2 years older than me his is hello dolly cookies my sister lives in cail so she never had any thing like that under the tree. my son rusty /olives green olives. my sister is the oldest. and when rusty married heather hers was under the tree/ the jars of peanut butter and jelly that is mixed. just give her a spoon. christmas this year will not be any thing special. i am relizing just how much mom made christmas. i friend at work gave me a part 4 sires on a serman done by a pastor here at on of the local churches and it wasone heaven it was such a good c.d. i went and bought the other 4 c.d. s in the siries,. man what it is going to be like when we get there we will finially meet every one. no more hurts or no more grief. mom must be having a good time with all of those nurhsery babies. so lets try to remember all of us on this board that we make it thru christmas. and that one day we will all be together. god bless. susan kay