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Old 12-13-2006, 06:28 AM   #1
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Join Date: Oct 2006
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loboo HB User
How are you all?

Hi Guys! Just wondered how you all are. I haven't been on for a while, but thought it would be good to jump on and catch up. It would have been Dads birthday on Thursday, so we all intend to celebrate, bought a big chocolate cake and we are going to send birthday messages up to the skies via a helium balloon & light a special candle in his rose garden. Kids are all excited that we can still celebrate Grandads birthday! Greif counsellor said it was a good idea to replace any negative thoughts of his passing and funeral to positive happy ones - hope this is helping kids, by letting them see we can still do things for grandad.
I feel the same as quite a few of us. Christmas is coming and it is our 1st without Dad, got the anniversary of his passing soon after too.
Glad we have this board to keep us all together and giving us all words of encouragement and comfort.
Thinking of you all that are without your loved ones like i am without my Dad... it's still hard
xxxx

 
Old 12-13-2006, 05:16 PM   #2
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susan kay HB User
Re: How are you all?

hi lobo im making it i was doing good until i saw my daddys counter today i had i good doctors vist and came over to his house and he had cleaned off the counter and had moms pic. with babie angles in front of it and angles on either side of it so i started crying and told daddy i had to go over to my house i couldnt look at that right then he said o.k. im sorry i said thats o.k. ill get used to it but i go every sunday and se her grave and spend some quite time weather permiting. but im o,k, i guess ill have to be. thanks for asking.susan kay

 
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Old 12-14-2006, 01:23 AM   #3
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: north west england
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loboo HB User
Re: How are you all?

I think I recall you saying he wasn't really talking about your mom, he was shutting her passing away, it is lovely that he has put her pic out with angels, soon you will be able to look at it and it wont hurt, I look at Dads roses and smile, today it being his birthday, i get that old familiar lump in throat, and tearey eyes. Keep going - we are learning to live in a different way, but you know what - we are doing it
Lots of Love Susan Kay x

 
Old 12-16-2006, 03:09 AM   #4
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cher1052 HB User
Re: How are you all?

loboo-Hi! you are so right in saying how you learn to live in a different way! My family will be getting together to celebrate/give the neices/nephews their gifts-it was a event mom started over 15 years ago!! We do a progressive party-and I found out that we will not be getting together on christmas-that hurts...it seems like everyone is going in different directions-it's been only 5 mths since mom passed away. I took flowers to the grave this week-and it hit me that this will be our first xmas w/o both our parents!! the tears came...I have been doing so good-and then bam---those tears wouldn't stop!!!!!!!!!!! I will be going to dinner at my sisters on the eve-and a midnite mass-thinking about going to the movies on christmas. Later-Cheri

 
Old 12-21-2006, 01:56 AM   #5
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CoyoteBound HB User
Re: How are you all?

cher1052,

I hear exactly what your saying because it all hits home with me too. I lost my Dad in 2004, my sister 2004, my brother-in-law 2005, and then my prescious Mother on March 28, 2006. This will be the first Christmas for me also with out both parents and my sister included. From way back as far as I can remember, my Mom had a big gathering at our house for Christmas where we opened our gifts and then on the 25th we all got together and had our Christmas Dinner. It won't ever be the same anymore but we have got to keep going the best that we can for our kids and our Grandkids!

Happy Holidays to all of you!

Jan

Last edited by CoyoteBound; 12-21-2006 at 01:58 AM.

 
Old 12-21-2006, 06:52 AM   #6
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Bill J HB User
Re: How are you all?

Hi everyone,

It's really nice to read your replies and see how you's are handling the holidays this is my first christmas w/o both parents even though I lost my Dad 20 years ago Dec. 9, it will be the first one w/o my dear Mother. I had a real bad couple of weeks but it seems to have subsided a bit. I plan on going out for christmas dinner with my brother, it's just going to be the two of us and I like Cher's idea of going to a movie. I think it's a good idea to celebrate your Dad's birthday loboo instead of grieving that day, it sounds like a healthy way to grieve, but for sure things will never be the same for any of us and we have to find a different way to live life because that's what our loved ones would want for us to go on living life to the fullest. Wishing you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. And God Bless.

Bill J
Toronto, Canada

 
Old 12-21-2006, 02:12 PM   #7
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kathryn+2 HB Userkathryn+2 HB User
Re: How are you all?

Yes ,the change in our holidays has been very difficult. Where we used to have at least 20 for dinner we are now down to 6. With the deaths of my mom ,dad ,brother ,and the older kids moving away ,plus our grandchilden recently moving to another state, it is just not the same. I am trying to move forward though because what else can you do really? I am trying not to live in the past. Hopefully i have a few years ahead of me still. So I am trying to find things that DO bring me some happiness. For instance there was a time i would never get on the back of my husbands motorcycle ,but i've recently started riding with him and i love it. In fact we just bought a new touring bike and we;ll be going to see the grandchildren ( a 2 day ride) in May. Also I volunteer at the library. But it can be different things for different people. Maybe more travel to exotc places,or taking up a new hobby,or volunteering. .My mom wouldn't want me to be sad or depressed all the time. I think she would be proud of me. And I do believe our loved ones see us. It has taken me 3yrs to come to this realization though. Those of you that are newly mourning ,well this may seem impossible now. That you can still laugh and enjoy life again. But you will get there too. I am here giving you hope....please be kind to yourselves,let yourself mourn as long as you need to,it will get easier with time.Although you will never not miss them.... Blessings to all......Kat

Last edited by kathryn+2; 12-21-2006 at 02:15 PM.

 
Old 12-23-2006, 02:01 AM   #8
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CoyoteBound HB User
Re: How are you all?

Four of my family memebers are gone now and it will not be the same anymore. We will just have to go on and do the best that we can and try to remember the good memories of them through the Holidays!

Merry Christamas to Everyone!

Jan

 
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