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Old 01-03-2007, 04:49 AM   #1
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My Big Sister...

I never thought I'd lose her. Least not until we were both old and gray. I am 30 and she was only 34. I just found out a few hours ago. Died. Autopsy today I think. Had surgery for back recently, but unsure if it's complications from that or a medicine accidental overdose. Either way, I'm in shock. She has a 15 year old special needs' son. A husband of only a few months. Lives in another state. Very messed up right now. I hurt most of all for my mother and my nephew. I hurt bad. I always need my big sister. So many things left unresolved. Now I'm nobody's baby sister anymore. I hurt and just had to say it some place.

 
Old 01-03-2007, 04:59 AM   #2
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Re: My Big Sister...

Hi

I wish i knew what to say to help the pain, i don't am afraid as am feeling the pain of just loosing my mum also....but please don't feel alone, i also come here to help me through it, by doing so i hope i can help someone also.....together here we can somehow although we/i can't imagine how will get through this hard time.

Take care and a big hug

Meeshy
xxx

 
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Old 01-04-2007, 02:37 AM   #3
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Re: My Big Sister...

Dear DDSLittleSister,

At this point in time, be there for your family as I am sure that they will be there for you. Don't take on any more than you can handle at the moment for you are in a vulnerable state of mind.

My brother passed in 1990 and we were 4 years apart also. What brings me a certain amount of solace is that I know he is never far away.

If you need to "speak", I'll be here.

Take care
God Bless
FTM

 
Old 01-04-2007, 06:50 AM   #4
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Re: My Big Sister...

Quote:
Originally Posted by meeshy
Hi

I wish i knew what to say to help the pain, i don't am afraid as am feeling the pain of just loosing my mum also....but please don't feel alone, i also come here to help me through it, by doing so i hope i can help someone also.....together here we can somehow although we/i can't imagine how will get through this hard time.

Take care and a big hug

Meeshy
xxx
Thank you. I'm sorry for what you are going through, too. I feel very much the same way as in not sure how I will get through this, but I will and so will you. Some things just take time and a lot of pain to get through before we can see clearly again, I think. -hugs-

 
Old 01-04-2007, 06:53 AM   #5
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Re: My Big Sister...

Quote:
Originally Posted by forthemasses
Dear DDSLittleSister,

At this point in time, be there for your family as I am sure that they will be there for you. Don't take on any more than you can handle at the moment for you are in a vulnerable state of mind.

My brother passed in 1990 and we were 4 years apart also. What brings me a certain amount of solace is that I know he is never far away.

If you need to "speak", I'll be here.

Take care
God Bless
FTM
Thank you for your words of wisdom. I'm sorry about your brother. I am here especially for my mother though things are very strained with most other family at this time so support is not exactly coming it seems. Pretty much just me and my mother. My sister's husband has already managed to alienate my nephew from his grandmother and possibly me. He isn't even his father. Things are hard. Family isn't helping. Two of my mothers sisters, one who lost a child of her own a few years ago, were very horrible to her rather than offering the love and support she needs. So I am really needing to be more and take on more for my mother's sake just now. But I know I need to think of me, too. Hope I make sense, am really running on automatic pilot these days.

 
Old 01-04-2007, 07:03 AM   #6
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Re: My Big Sister...

Dear DDSLittleSister,

Then you will have to be there for your mother and vice versa. When my mother passed in 2002, it hit me hard but I bounced back, knowing that she would only want me to celebrate her life because she would have wanted it that way.

Take care
God Bless
FTM

 
Old 01-18-2007, 01:10 AM   #7
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Re: My Big Sister...

I too lost my oldest Sister to a Brain Anyuresm and my sister was only 55 years old. She had a real bad head-ache one night got up the next morning and felt better and went with my brother to take care of some buisness and when they were headed to their car, she dropped dead after she unlocked her door. Thats how fast she went. My brother didn't even get to tell her bye and he tried to do CPR on her and several other people before the Parameics arrived. I know how you feel, Stay strong for your Mom and take care of your self too.

God Bless you and your Mom!
Jan

 
Old 02-02-2007, 05:40 PM   #8
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Re: My Big Sister...

Hi,
I also lost my Big Sister suddenly on Christmas Eve 2006.She has been suffering from back pain had a surgery a few months later but it only helped for a little bit. The hard thing is she choked so I know that she knew what was hapenning to her. They said that an overdose of pain and depression medication was partially to blaim because her muscles weren't strong enough to deal with it. She lived in France and my brother in law doesn,t speak the language. I do, so I was the one who had to informe the family. After the initial few weeks of grieving as a family all of the sudden nobody talks about her. I guess we all ( my brother , my sister and my mom) do not want to make the other cry(we live far away and talk on the phone, we can't hug each other). I miss her so much, she was 55 and I am the youngest so she was like a second mom to me. It hits me several times a day and I am on a rolercoaster. I laugh because my kids make me and then a minute later Ifeel like crying.The only thing that helps is the fact that I talked to her the evening before. I know that everybody loses someone close to them eventually but it's so hard when it happens. Thanks for listening to me.

 
Old 02-02-2007, 06:15 PM   #9
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Re: My Big Sister...

Dear DDSLittleSister,
I started reading your post, crying and telling you my story and I did not even tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

 
Old 02-03-2007, 02:38 AM   #10
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Re: My Big Sister...

Quote:
Originally Posted by ala3 View Post
Hi,
I also lost my Big Sister suddenly on Christmas Eve 2006.She has been suffering from back pain had a surgery a few months later but it only helped for a little bit. The hard thing is she choked so I know that she knew what was hapenning to her. They said that an overdose of pain and depression medication was partially to blaim because her muscles weren't strong enough to deal with it. She lived in France and my brother in law doesn,t speak the language. I do, so I was the one who had to informe the family. After the initial few weeks of grieving as a family all of the sudden nobody talks about her. I guess we all ( my brother , my sister and my mom) do not want to make the other cry(we live far away and talk on the phone, we can't hug each other). I miss her so much, she was 55 and I am the youngest so she was like a second mom to me. It hits me several times a day and I am on a rolercoaster. I laugh because my kids make me and then a minute later Ifeel like crying.The only thing that helps is the fact that I talked to her the evening before. I know that everybody loses someone close to them eventually but it's so hard when it happens. Thanks for listening to me.
Dear ala,

My condolences.

I know that you have heard this more times than you care to remember.

You are right; nothing quite compares you for the death of a loved one.

One can know that it will happen eventually or even months prior but when that time comes, the brain just seems to forget what it previously knew.

It is the denial of the fact that automatically sets in.

My dear,

It is alright to cry; let it out. Allow others to be there for you and you for them.

Know that "The Man Upstairs" has bekoned her because HE has a greater purpose for her.

We are only here for a short time and although we plan, things happen in God's time, not ours.

Anytime you feel like posting, know that you have someone here that is willing to listen.

You and your family are in my prayers; may she Rest in The Lord's Peace.

Take care
God Bless
FTM

 
Old 02-26-2007, 05:27 PM   #11
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Re: My Big Sister...

I too lost my sister. She was 39 and I was 37. She died just over a year ago and it was a sudden death. Let me tell you, it does get more familiar to deal with but the hole stays. She was your sister and you had so many years together. When you hear her favorite song, you will get blue and you should. But soon you will be reminded of her and you will smile. You will be able to look at her picture and say "hey, miss ya!". But you may never get over the urge to telephone her with some big story and actually entertain the thought (for a miniscule second) that you need to talk to her and for that second you forget she's gone until reality sets in and you remember that you can't phone her.

Let yourself grieve for as long as it takes but remember that there are people here that need you and you can't let your grief consume you. If it starts to then you should see your doctor without hesitation. Don't feel guilty if you have days that you are happy....or that you didn't think of her as often as you think you should have...don't be afraid to start enjoying yourself again.

Best thoughts to you.......sorry about your loss.

 
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