Today is the one year anniversary of my dear Mom's death, I don't know which has been harder on me living w/o her or remembering all the suffering she went through and finally the look of death on her face when she passed away she didn't even look like my mother. I miss her terribly. If anyone has any suggestions how I can handle this day or how any of you dealt with it (did you' hold any candles or do anything to honour your loved one) I'd appreciate it..
I love you Mom and you'll always be in my heart.
In memory of Helen Jack
Mar. 4 1939 - Jan. 12 2006
Bill---God bless you for the love you have for your Mom. Each anniversary is different. The one year of my daughter's I took the day off and had lunch with her husband. Boy was that hard on both of us. I have passed her 9 year anniversary this past august. Some years I have worked and then visited her afterwards. Other years I have taken off and spent the day with my othere 2 daughters. I try to look at the day as a re-birth for her and it somehow eases my heartbreak. Her anniversary, her birthday, Mother's day used to be the hardest for me. Her birthday and Mother's day because both days were her and I. I realized one day that EVERYDAY she is not here and realized that none are harder than the other. I have lit candles, brought baloons and flowers to her gravesite, taled to her whatever i felt was the best for me that day. You'll always love your Mom. Time makes it somewhat easier but the pain is always there. You learn how to put it in a place in your heart where you can live with it. grief is very personal. no right and no wrong ways. It's your way. I will be thinking of you and say a prayer that peace comes to you.
I just said a prayer for you and I hope that you will find it getting a little easier now as time goes by. We all grieve differently and do what ever you think will make you feel better. On a occassion like that, it would be nice to take some new flowers to the grave site and just talk to her and tell her how you love her and how much you miss her. I do that with my Mom.
I'll do that, I don't think I've had an evening set aside where I can just be with me and my Mom and to remember all the good times instead of just thinking about the suffering she went through she deserves more than that.
whackedback----my husband and I started that also when his dearly loved and very generous parents passed away a week apart from each other. I picked up most of their charities and some of my own. I know they smile on us.......
Those are good suggestions, Ivve always been a big believer of helping those less fortunate and have always tried to do my share, there's never a shortage of need. And hugs back to you MADMAZ and the rest of you.
Someday when you have some free time,just go to the cemetary and take you a chair if you want to or just sit on the ground and talk to your Mom. Bill, you wouldn't want to see your Mom suffer and go back through that at all would you? Thats what you have to keep telling your self that she is not hurting anymore and that there is no more suffering. And you will see her again someday when God gets ready to take you home. I wish there was something I could say to you that would ease your pain a bit, but i know how hard it is but just remember what I told you alight?
Thank you Jan, my mom was cremated which was her wishes does the same apply about talking to her(urn)?, and your right I wouln't want her to be still suffering and your reply was very comforting.
It doesn't matter if their in the ground, cremated or what but you didn't say if you had her urn at home. No matter where it's at, you talk to her and you will see how much better your gonna feel. Now you might cry and cry but get it out and then see if you feel better.
My Mom had COPD and I had to watch her fight for her breath and that was not east to do because I had her right here at my house. Hospice came in and helped me with her and showed me how to give her the medications she needed. I can still see her right now, right before she died, but she held on until I told her it was alright for her to go be with my Dad, Sister, her Mom and Dad and my Brother-in-law. When I told her that, she took 2 more breaths of air and she was gone. I wouldn't bring my poor Mother back in the condition she was in for nothing because I know she is in Heaven now walking the Streets of gold just like your Mom is. Hun, you will see your Mom again someday and until then just tell your self that God needed another ANGEL so he took your Mom and believe that too. I hope what I am saying to you helps because I can so feel your pain. My heart goes out to you.
