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Old 01-21-2007, 11:09 AM   #1
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barefootjojo HB User
just loss my dad

dear group
i have just lost my dad
i am having depession and sleepless night, i must gain weigth the dr said
an i am having a hard time doing that.any ideas from the group would help
me deal with this loss.it has been only a few weeks now.it is hard not
dealling with him on a day by day bases.he was my best friend and dad
the one i could talk to about anything at anytime thank you for any ideas.

 
Old 01-21-2007, 12:05 PM   #2
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Re: just loss my dad

I am so sorry that you have lost your dear dad.

When I lost my dad I put weight on, I lost my dad 7 years ago he was 61 years old, I also lost my dear mum my bestest friend on the 2nd of febuary last year she was also 61 years old.

I miss her so much I cry for her, to see her, to hear her voice, to hold her hand. you see barefootjo when I lost my dad part of went and when I lost my mum its like most of me as gone with her, I have so many health problems since my dear mum left... I wish you well...God Bless...Mandy

Last edited by MAD MAZ; 01-21-2007 at 12:07 PM.

 
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Old 01-21-2007, 08:00 PM   #3
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Re: just loss my dad

i'm so sorry for your loss. I also lost my dad ,my mom and my brother. It's been a rough road ,but with time it does get easier. I lost 20lbs in 2 weeks after my mom died. It did come back eventually though. I'm sure your Dr. probably recommended Ensure which will help with the weight issue.When my brother was dealing with weight loss due to his cancer that's what the Dr. put him on. As far as the sleep issue ,I have had great sucess with melatonin. The one I take is a 2 stage release. i've tried lots of sleep aids ,and this one has worked the best for me. my thoughts and prayers are with you ...Kat

 
Old 01-22-2007, 03:00 AM   #4
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Re: just loss my dad

I am so sorry for the loss of your Dad! I too lost my Dad, then my Sister, then my Sisters Husband, then just lost my Mama. It hurts and it hurts bad, but just put your faith in the Lord and ask him to help you make it through this. it does get easier as time goes by, but you will have good days and your gonna have plenty of bad ones too. That just goes with the part of grieving. There is no set time for a person to grieve. If I were you and you are having trouble sleeping, I would discuss that with your doctor because there is so many different things that they can put you on to help you make it past this. Just remember that your not alone, and we are all her for you any time you would like to talk.

God Bless!

 
Old 01-22-2007, 08:53 AM   #5
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Re: just loss my dad

I too, am so sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my mother 3 weeks ago. We were very close. I could never had imagined in my wildest dreams how much it hurts. Try to take it one day at a time. That's what I'm trying to do.

 
Old 01-22-2007, 09:51 AM   #6
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Re: just loss my dad

hi sorry about your loss.
i cannot drink ensure i have blood sugar issues and the vitmans dont agree with me i am taking glucina,with protien powder,and over the counter sleep aid it does help some night i cannot take every night.i lost 12 lbs in 21/2 weeks. my dad had a long and loving life.i cared for him the last few years and now i am to emotional and loss of weight to go back to work my ex boss will not take be back right now if i can gain weight and sleep better mybe
in a few month i will be able to work part time.
stay well will write again today is a very day for me i am having a bad time of
thing but it is great to here from others i feel im not along on this walk of grief

 
Old 01-23-2007, 06:37 AM   #7
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Re: just loss my dad

sunshire i am sorry about your loss.try and take care of yourself.sleep is very important and eating.you are in my prayers i know how hard it is.
trying talk about it to family.my family is all over the world and
it is hard to dealilng with that alone.

Last edited by barefootjojo; 01-23-2007 at 06:46 AM.

 
Old 01-23-2007, 06:43 AM   #8
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Re: just loss my dad

daer kathryn.
i am trying to add weigth with protein powder and sleep more
enure is out i cannot drink it. last night i got 7 hours sleep with the
otc sleepaid plus now i am sick with a cold got a chill.but just sleeping
7 hours was good. stay well yourself. my dad was 96 year old and he had a heart condition,but his loss was not expected, so it is very hard when it happens like that

 
Old 01-23-2007, 03:44 PM   #9
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Re: just loss my dad

jojo...... my dad had a heart attack and it was very sudden and he died at the hospital without regaining consiousness. I lived 2hrs away and he was gone before I got there so i didn't get to say goodbye. He as only 62. I remember crying for days and days. So much that my eyes were practically swollen shut. I 've been where you are. Six months later my brother died of cancer. This all happened 18yrs ago. I still miss them and think about them every day ,but the acute pain has lessened. It does get easier with time. I lost my mom suddenly 3yrs ago . I am still dealing with that loss. But I know she is with my dad and my brother and she is still with me in spirit. I have grown a lot spiritually from my losses and i'm gratefull for that. I know in my heart that some day I will see them all again. For now, you will hurt and hurt and hurt some more ... that's called grieving...but someday it will get easier for you. All the people that come to this site know your pain...we are all here for you. Please take care of yourself. I hope that you will find something that helps you put on the weight. I found that I could only stomach custards or rice pudding. Comfort food. Be kind to yourself and patient...... Kat

 
Old 01-24-2007, 02:55 AM   #10
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Re: just loss my dad

hi i lost my dad when i was 11 and my stepdad who i had in my life for 18 years and saw as my dad only 4 months ago.i cant say i feel any better now than i did at the time.i cant get back to work, my anxiety condition is back again and as the time goes on i find im more angry and i cry more and i miss him so much.what makes it harder is i live on my own,no children its just me and mum and we cant lift each other up as were both lost.i think whether its expected or not its just as difficult as yoyu live in hope,you watch them suffer, you go through intense stress and fear and when you lose them its a shock.i can only say that im told it gets easier and less painful and life becomes bearable again x

 
Old 01-24-2007, 11:08 AM   #11
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Re: just loss my dad

mad maz
i am sorry about your loss. my dad was 96 had a heart condition.
i feel like i am in a dream and will wake and find him reading his paper.
i am totally at a loss. i just go thu the days one day at a time but
they are sometime lone and lonely other are short, just trying to cope
eat and sleep. i still weight the same but i think my body is change now that i am eating protein powder to get lean body mass.i feel totally lost what i am going to due with myself now that he is not here. some family member want me to try postive thinking and telling myself life goes on that dad would not like to see like this but that is were hard to deal with right now.
please write again thanks for your support

 
Old 01-25-2007, 05:57 PM   #12
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Re: just loss my dad

I know what you mean when you say you feel like you're in a dream. I know with my mom ,every time my phone would ring, for a split second ,I would think it was her ,and I'd get hit all over again with that wave of intense grief.. (We talked on the phone a few times a week. ) It took months for that feeling to go away. I know they say there are stages to grief and I think i've been through all of them ,the denial at the beginning,feeling like this couldn't be really happening... and the anger later on. Even now I get angry at my mom for "abandoning "me. Not very logical, or fair to my mom ,but I have to admit it happens. I also used to get angry after my dad died and I would see men older that he was, fit and energetic and carrying on with their lives while my dad was dead. After being stuck in that phase for awhile I figured I needed help with my grief and started a spiritual journey that has helped me so much. Grief is like a journey,and hopefully at the end you will find acceptence. The length of the journey can be different for everyone. If you find you are just getting stuck in your grief and not moving forward there are grief counselers out there .I know Hospice has exellent grief counseling available and it;s free. Take care.....

 
Old 02-23-2007, 01:31 PM   #13
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Re: just loss my dad

Quote:
Originally Posted by barefootjojo View Post
dear group
i have just lost my dad
i am having depession and sleepless night, i must gain weigth the dr said
an i am having a hard time doing that.any ideas from the group would help
me deal with this loss.it has been only a few weeks now.it is hard not
dealling with him on a day by day bases.he was my best friend and dad
the one i could talk to about anything at anytime thank you for any ideas.
Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,I am the diamonds gilt on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the mornings hush, I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night
Do not stand at my grave and cry,I am not there i did not die.

I lost my mother on dec 7 of 06 and i feel your pain.
Cry when you want, do not supress it. Talk to your dad as if he were beside you and remember all the good times. Hug a pillow and cry. You will have good days and bad days. Good moments and bad moments. You will cry when you are alone and be strong when you are among family and friends. We all go through this time and it is one of the hardest times of our lives, but we have no choice it is beyond our control. We grieve but remember it is just us that grieve our loved ones are at peace.
God Bless you, you will get through this, life goes on and it will.

 
Old 04-26-2007, 03:36 PM   #14
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Re: just loss my dad

dear group
the dr has just given me a higher dose of anti depression med because i feel
better at that dose so what more like myself.i have been getting out
and socializing some what and taking some classes too.
but some days it is blue lagoon so this up and down is gone be with me for
a bit of time but i know it is normal. i have just started to gain weight

 
Old 05-01-2007, 06:10 AM   #15
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Unhappy Re: just loss my dad

the last goodbye:.when i look at his cold gaze while he lies there expressionless,emotionless........His demeanor has faded away,He was called into the night for eternal rest,no more time to talk, no more time for advice ,no anger,no excitement,nothing ever again.Only the memories of him through his eternal bliss to his sacrifice,he is my epitome of hope ....desire,failure,and success.he is now gone .gone into the night to await our arrival and watch us on our journey through our utopia.yes,he is now gone ,but not forgotten.
i lost my dad 5 yrs ago and this is what my son wrote himself ,im not sure if the crying and depression im having now is from my dad he died 5 yrs ago and i cried and cried before he died then at the furneral i couldnt cry at all in my mind my dad wasnt gone but he was and i havent cried in the whole 5 yrs till now not a day goes by that i dont think about him and ever since he died my life has not been the same he died jan 21st 2002 but on christmas eve he was sooooooooooo happy and laughing and joking so i thought he was going to be allright he had colon cancer then at around 11am christmas day he had 5 strokes and never woke up and i never got to say goodbye i had left his hospital room and before i got back he had done died i was in total shock i couldnt cry and even at his furneral i couldnt and havent in the whole 5 yrs now im crying and im not sure if its because of my dad or not but i MISS him so much i dont think i ever got over his death because before he got sick i told myself my parents wasnt going to die and even when he got sick i told myself my dad isnt going to die and he did anyway and it hurts bad even 5 yrs later they say some can greave in the beginning and some its yrs later and i think my crying now is from my dad but im not sure alls i know is i been doing nothing but crying ...............vic

 
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