Found my brother, can't get over it - Grief & Loss Message Board

sadsis · 01-21-2007, 06:26 PM

I am new to this, but I've been reading some of the postings and my heart goes out to all of you. We are all trying to find our way through this. I think it helps to know that there is a place where you can talk about your feelings, and hear from other people who are dealing with similar experiences. I came home on Nov 8, 2006 and thought my 46 year old brother was sleeping. He was completely healthy as far as I knew, and I had just talked to him before noon that day. He was also my best friend. To back up a little, my entire family lives on the other side of the country, so I was thrilled a year and a half ago when my brother took a job in my area. He and his wife had split up a few years ago, no kids, so it was just him. He moved in with us at first, and it worked out so well he stayed. He became such a big part of our lives, and he and I just had some kind of special connection. We would talk for hours about things, do projects together, he was funny and smart. I could never have imagined what would happen. I wondered why his car was here but the house was dark as I pulled in the driveway. When he wouldn't wake up I realized I had to call 911, they had me trying to do CPR until the ambulance arrived. Then when they got here, they told me it was too late, there was nothing they could do. The whole time I was thinking he would wake up, that this couldn't be happening to him, that I had to save him, that I wished I had taken a CPR class, that if only the paramedics would get here soon they could do something. I keep reliving this in my mind. It's hard to go near where I found him so all of his things are still there. I don't like to come home alone after dark if no one else is here. I try to act strong, but inside I just can't get over it.

kathryn+2 · 01-21-2007, 09:07 PM

I am so very sorry for your loss. I also lost my brother. We were only a year apart and had a great relationship. He died of cancer . I can't imagine how very terrible it must have been for you to find your brother,. and it was so sudden I imagine it still doesn't seem real to you. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this very difficult time. The grieving process is long and hard ,but it does eventually get easier. I still miss my brother everyday,but the pain is not as sharp ,and I can even smile at some of my memories of him. Take care....

CoyoteBound · 01-22-2007, 03:50 AM

sadsis,

I an so sorry for the loss of your brother. My thoughts and prayers go out to you at this time. I too lost my sister and she was 55 and this was in Mov 2004. We thought she was as healthy as can be and she took a real bad headache one night and her husband tried to take her to the hospital and she wouldn't go. She claimed the headache let up and she went back to bed that night and got up the next morning and her and my brother had some business to go and take care of and when they were headed back to the car, my sister told my brother she was having a hard to breathing and they were got to the car and she unlocked the car and my brother got in and put on his seat belt and turned back looking for my sister and he could not see her. He got out of the car and found my sister laying on the ground and she was already gone. A Brain Anyeresum hit her and took her that quick. My brother tried to do CPR, plus some people passing by also tried until the Paramedics got there but it was to late. What is so hard, is when you think their healthy and then the next thing you know they are gone.

Like the other poster said, in time the pain will get easier, but you will just have to take it one day at a time. Main thing is take care of your self. And remember that we are here to listen any time you want to talk about it.

God Bless You!

sadsis · 01-22-2007, 06:24 PM

Kathryn+2, I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. I can only imagine how hard it is to see someone you love go through an illness like that. It must have been very hard. There is no good way to lose someone you love. I appreciate your kindness so much. It helps to know there is a place to talk to people who understand.

sadsis · 01-22-2007, 07:14 PM

CoyoteBound, Thanks so much for your kind words. I'm so sorry about your sister. You're right, it's hard when someone is fine one minute and then gone. And your brother was with her when it happened. You lost your sister in November too. Alot of similarities there. The holidays come quickly after November, and you try to do what you should, but maybe there's not enough time just to grieve? I feel like I should be doing better than this by now. What do you think? This is the only place I have to say how I really feel. In my everyday life I'm the one who others lean on for strength, so I appreciate you taking the time to respond so very much.