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Old 01-22-2007, 05:18 PM   #1
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MaxineK8 HB User
Traumatic Break-Up with Boyfriend

Hi,

I am 21 years old and have fairly recently broken up with my boyfriend of 5 years. When i read some other people's dealings with grief, I feel that what I am upset about is not that great a deal and that I am going on like a bit of a sook. However, I am finding this break up really difficult to deal with, probably the hardest experience in my life to date. I am trying to move on with life but i have this whole in my stomach. My boyfriend was the one to end the relationship as he needs to have a break in our relationship and be able to do more in his life without compromising for a bit. As he has been the only one since I was 16 years old, life has changed immensly. He just turned 25 at the end of last year and I think he has hit a point where he realises he isn't getting any younger and time is getting away. I am going through what i think is the prelimenary stages of the 'grieving process' and wouldn't mind hearing some comments of people who are currently or have gone through a similar experience. Any comments would be appreciated.
Thanks,
Maxine

 
Old 01-23-2007, 04:08 PM   #2
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kathryn+2 HB Userkathryn+2 HB User
Re: Traumatic Break-Up with Boyfriend

I do think that the end of a relationship is like a death in a way. You thought you had your whole future mapped out with this guy ,just to have him blow your world apart. You will go through a grieving process. I know you are hurting right now. I've been there too. Hang in there ...like with most things ...with time it will get easier.

 
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Old 06-25-2007, 08:21 PM   #3
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free5663 HB User
Re: Traumatic Break-Up with Boyfriend

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaxineK8 View Post
Hi,

I am 21 years old and have fairly recently broken up with my boyfriend of 5 years. When i read some other people's dealings with grief, I feel that what I am upset about is not that great a deal and that I am going on like a bit of a sook. However, I am finding this break up really difficult to deal with, probably the hardest experience in my life to date. I am trying to move on with life but i have this whole in my stomach. My boyfriend was the one to end the relationship as he needs to have a break in our relationship and be able to do more in his life without compromising for a bit. As he has been the only one since I was 16 years old, life has changed immensly. He just turned 25 at the end of last year and I think he has hit a point where he realises he isn't getting any younger and time is getting away. I am going through what i think is the prelimenary stages of the 'grieving process' and wouldn't mind hearing some comments of people who are currently or have gone through a similar experience. Any comments would be appreciated.
Thanks,
Maxine
Hello Maxine,
I do understand exactly what you are going through, I am also going through a seperation, it has been six weeks now, go easy with your self, I know I tend to mimimise the situation, when I hear other peoples situations.

When you have lost someone that has been a deep part of your life, your world is ruptured and understandly ther is a emptiness that is indescribable.
feelings of unbearable pain, hurt, rejection, and total confusion, asking questions like why, what happened, fear of the future, it is a time of insanity.
I too am holding on to just one day at a time, getting through the best way you possibly can.
I found this link today and decided to register and I came across your posting, take Care Hope for a brighter days ahead Dom

 
Old 06-26-2007, 01:07 PM   #4
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Psimer HB User
Re: Traumatic Break-Up with Boyfriend

This is how I have worked it out over years of dating. You are allowed to cry for three months. The next three months you can cry and still complain to your friends but you have to understand that they are going to be getting tired of hearing you cry.

The next six months you go into therapy. You have to regain your life and your identity. You can't always do it on your own which is why you want a therapist. You have lost you and now you need to get your feet back on the ground and redirect yourself and your energy.

After 1 year, you can look at him and know that you are better off without him. And you will be ready to date again with an open heart.

Sara

 
Old 06-28-2007, 03:34 AM   #5
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jason74 HB User
Re: Traumatic Break-Up with Boyfriend

Never put a time on when you are going to feel better. Give it to God and he will heal you when it is his time. I would hate to think you grieved a loss of a boyfriend for one year if you could have been happy sooner. I grieved my wifes death intensely for four months, then had another two months of not so intense grieving. It was one year ago yesterday that she died. It depresses me to think that I could still be hurting like I was before if I had set a time on it. Deal with the loss head on and then move on.

Jason

 
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