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Old 02-03-2007, 12:13 PM   #1
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MAD MAZ HB User
I feel so sad and lonley !!

I miss my dear mum so much it was a year yesterday that she died, I feel like I hate life right now. I have been ill for just over a year , I have a under-active thyroid, I have been told that I am in the menopause I am 42 years old ( just)

I have had real bad pain everyday under my ribs for a year, had lots of bowel tests and a scan on my gallbladder that was OK the test I had was a year ago on the gallbladder!!
I am having the same test again on the 19th Feb, as you can see I have a lot of things going on, oh and I have RA. I wish I could give my mum a big hug !!

I am crying as I am writing this so I think I will go now just needed to speak as I feel like I am so sad and stressed....Mandy

 
Old 02-07-2007, 10:21 PM   #2
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Re: I feel so sad and lonley !!

MAD-MAZ,

I am so sorry for you being down and out about your Mom. I can understand your feelings though because March 28 will be one year since I lost my Mom and she wasn't just my Mom, she was my best friend also. I could go to her and talk to her about anything and now I can't do that. Life don't seem fair but that's just the way it's got to be. I hope that you are feeling better now. Keep us updated!

God Bless You,
Jan

 
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Old 02-12-2007, 11:27 AM   #3
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Re: I feel so sad and lonley !!

oh im so terribly sorry for your loss.
i know exactly what your saying, and all i can say to you is that you will gradually learn to live with it. its hard, it really is, but you're stronger than you think, really.

all the love in the world to you, and i hope you can get your health issues sorted, that certainly wont help how you feel.

big hugs xxx

 
Old 02-12-2007, 01:46 PM   #4
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Re: I feel so sad and lonley !!

Hi Jan and Suzie, Thank you both so much for your kind words.

I have been so low , (relay low) I think I am having a breakdown, I cry all the time I am in pain in mind and body!!


I feel like my mind and body are giving up.

I am so sad all the time, I don't what to take tablets, I have real bad anxiety about everything mostly my health and tablets. I do take valium when needed.

I have real health problems already I have a under-active thyroid...god bless you ...Mandy

 
Old 02-13-2007, 06:54 AM   #5
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Re: I feel so sad and lonley !!

yes, i can understand how you feel. i lost my mum five years ago, and at first, i thought i would never break free of the suffocating bubble of pain and loneliness i was in. but it gets better.
its an old worn out statement, but its true, time is the greatest healer. just do what you feel like doing at the time. if you feel like screaming into a pillow, just do it.
i had a friend i used to phone, well, she's stil my friend now, and when i would ring her, i would just rant on and on, and she hardly spoke a word. at the end of the ''conversation'', she would say she felt terrible that she hadnt been able to say anything to comfort me, and she felt useless. well, thats all i needed her to do, just sit there on the other end of the phone, and listen while i got everything out, going round in circles, sometimes just crying, sometimes getting out all the anger at the world. it was the only therapy i could face.
i dont know if you have someone you can do that with, but maybe sometimes if you feel like it, just get everything down on here, no matter how silly you may feel, or even if what you are saying doesnt seem to have any relevance.
just get everything down. it may help. it wont feel like it is helping, but maybe it will.

 
Old 02-13-2007, 01:15 PM   #6
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Re: I feel so sad and lonley !!

I am sorry to here you lost your dear mum, It is so hard.

I lost my dad 8 years ago come this june, so I realy do feel like nobodys daughter anymore, my dad was also 61 years old.

I think you are right its good to talk about how you feel, I was so low yesterday, I realy was thinking I need to be put in the n*t house for a break from this world, My son who is 16 and is the most loving and caring boy in the world, sat me down and realy tried taking to me , he is so worried about the stress I am putting on myself.

He is so right but when you are in pain in mind and body its so hard to feel happy!!

I love my kids and realy what to be happy for them I hate me feeling like this.


Do you have kids...take care ...Mandy

Last edited by MAD MAZ; 02-13-2007 at 01:17 PM.

 
Old 02-13-2007, 01:30 PM   #7
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Re: I feel so sad and lonley !!

yes, i have three boys, my dad died before any of them came along, but my eldest was four, and my middle son was three when my mum died. the younger one doesnt really remember her, and it hasnt really affected him. he's mildly autistic, and doesnt seem to have that emotion, its weird, but also good, in another way. my eldest son is terribly sensitive, and talks about her still now, even though he will be ten this time.
it hurt when i found out i was pregnant with my third boy, who is now two. it just didnt feel right that i was having a baby that my mum wasnt around for, you know?

anyway, its good you have such a wonderful son, and maybe good that he's of an age so that you can actually 'talk' to him.

just try to reassure him that what your going through is just a normal process. it may worry and upset him to see you this way, but you'll soon be back to normal (whatever that means, lol) and to just grit his teeth through the worst of it. thats all any of us can do really.

its such a horrible feeling, and it certainly does feel like it will last forever, but it doesnt.

its been five years now (six at easter this year) since losing my mum, and now i can get through days without even thinking of her. that in itself sometimes feels like im doing something wrong, but you have to move on, or you would, quite literally, go mental!
i think of her now with fondness, and only in my darkest hours, when i feel down and frustrated, do i shed a tear over her. i still miss her terribly, i always will, but that terrible harshness fades, and you can think of good stuff, and talk about her without getting upset.

it does come, although it seems it never will.

 
Old 02-13-2007, 01:59 PM   #8
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Re: I feel so sad and lonley !!

Thanks suzie, you are a good caring person, I hope that I do pull through this in time, as I said my health is a worry to me, and the stress of loosing my mum as made me worse.

I have inflammation of the duodenum that I got when my mum died and my stomach is just not healing to good. I have to take Losec everyday, last week the pain above my belly button and the burning has come back again !!

So I am now stress again. I also have a daughter, she is a school teacher she lives in London and I have a boy of 5 who is a little monkey !!

I am married are you??

take care ...Mandy x

Last edited by MAD MAZ; 02-13-2007 at 02:04 PM.

 
Old 02-14-2007, 01:15 AM   #9
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Re: I feel so sad and lonley !!

im sorry to hear about your health, i cant really say anything about that because i dont know anything about your condition, but i hope you can get it sorted. and of course, the stress will make it worse. im a diabetic, and that totally reacts to stress! its such a pain in the backside. ive enough to worry about without that too, i know you feel the same!

im not married, but i live with my partner, we've been together three years, and he's daddy to my youngest.

your kids are quite a wide range of ages. did you plan that to happen or did it just ''happen'' lol?

only one of my children were 'planned', and with my youngest, i got pregnant almost the minute i met his dad!! well, not quite, im not that bad... but, you know what i mean

 
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