I want my Mommy!
My mother passed away on September 17, 2006, after a valient battle with emphysema. She was on oxygen for 6 years and just kept getting progressively worse. A lung transplant was an option at one point, but she decided against it after much deliberation. When the time came... she knew; she went into the hospital on a Wednsday, and by the following Monday she was gone. It was her choice. The docs could have kept her alive for awhile on machines and the like but she refused, there was no point. The good part is that she knew that it was her time, she accepted it, and got to say goodbye to everyone. She even told people off that she always wanted to tell off! Spunky lady... that was my Mom.
Anyway, right after she passed I was doing OK. I knew that she was where she wanted to be and that she wasn't in pain anymore. Now it's been 6 months, and it's harder now than it was right after it happened. I miss her so much. She was my best friend in the whole world, and not a day passed that I didn't talk to her at least once, if not two or three times. I wish I could dream about her or that I had someone to talk to about her... just memories and stuff. My brothers and I have never been close, so I don't feel comfortable talking to them. I just want everyone to know what a wonderful mother she was. One of the last things she said to me was that she was sorry for being a terrible mother... I don't know why she said that. She was the best mother I could have ever asked for.
I don't know how to stop missing her so much. I'd give anything to be able to pick up the phone and talk to her just one more time. I wish she would send me a message somehow. I feel so alone.