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Old 03-24-2007, 11:07 PM   #1
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violaroses HB User
my mom is talking to somebody new

dad left us unexpectly in aug. my best friend. mom was hit hard too,. but now its been 6 months later and she is telling me she feels like a teenager all giddy inside, but crying because she feels so guilty. ans she says I am her only confident. (its just me and her now) and i hate it. anxiety and depression has been on my shoulders , its so hard. sometimes i forget to breath because i want this to all go away and i want my dad back./
this guy is rebound, but what if..... and he lives too far away.
she has met him, and they talk on the phone and email each other, and i hate it.

 
Old 03-25-2007, 05:07 AM   #2
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Re: my mom is talking to somebody new

Dear Violaroses........ Oh my heart goes out to you. I do understand. My story. My 21 year old daughter passed away in a tragic car accident in August of '97. She was married only 10 months. Her husband was 25. The were best friends before falling in love and getting married. A happier couple I have never seen. They were making plans to have children at the time of her death. He was lost without the love of his life and eventually had a nervous breakdown. He had no connection to this world. Shortly after her death he ran into a girl who grew up on his street. Her live in boyfriend of 3 years had died in a motorcycle accident 2 weeks after my daughter died. A friendship struck up as they both totally understood how the other felt. She was my daughter but his wife. Totally different relationships. All of his friends backed away from him due to anger in feeling that he had forgotten his beloved wife so quickly. Not true. He needed whatever he needed to go on. He came to me and I told him he didn't need my permission but that I understood his need for companionship and who better than someone who understood. it will be 10 years in August and at this point he has two childre with this girl, has never married her, still suffers horribly from the loss of my daughter.His children have given him a reason to go on. Please as hard as it is try not to judge your mom. You seem to be close. Talk to her about your feelings. I'm sure she'll be willing to share hers. But please keep the door of communication open. I know it's hard as you feel your beloved dad is being replace , but he isn't. My prayers are with you. Keep in touch and let me knowhow you are.


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Old 03-30-2007, 06:55 AM   #3
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Re: my mom is talking to somebody new

Violaroses, There's someone in my church who's husband passed away from a battle of loss of sight then a stoke-his wife/family all cared for him. I remember when at church a few weeks after he passed that I saw her with another man. It made me wonder too-but she found someone to help her as he was ill and now their a couple. Sometimes it's the best thing that can happen to someone. Chat with her-tell her how you feel...take care,Cherie

 
Old 04-01-2007, 07:54 PM   #4
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Re: my mom is talking to somebody new

violaroses-
It isn't right that your mom uses you as a friend about her new boyfriend, but it's good that she can talk to you. I know my son is jealous of my fiance since his dad died suddenly 2 weeks ago. I think he feels like I have someone to lean on and he doesn't have ME since I have someone else... there is NO ONE who can replace my son in my life and there is NO ONE who can replace YOU in her life!!! I promise you that. I'm sorry you probably feel like you have lost your best friend/mom to this new man.
Just remember that YOU are the most precious person in her life no matter what.

Last edited by greenidme; 04-01-2007 at 07:57 PM.

 
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