I know I dont know what it is like to lose my husband but I also lost my best friend.. He was my eldest brother. I seen him all the time and one day he didnt wake up. I never even got to say goodbye!! On top of dealing with my brothers death I found out I was pregnant and lost my baby a month later. Its very very hard for me to even get out of bed somedays. My brother passed away December 5th 2006 and I still have not even gone back to work. I feel for you and dont hesitate to post your feelings. I know its hard to be by yourself. God bless you and know that everything happens for a reason and it is not apparent right now in time. You may never know. I still try to figure it out. God Bless and feel better!!
It's been a little over 12 years since I lost both my son and daughter in a car accident. Since then, I've realized the pain never goes away. It's always there. You just get used to it. The pain has become a part of who I am. It's mine; I own it.
I have found one thing that has helped. Some time after the accident, I came to a realization. How can I honor their lives if I give up on my own? Would they want me to live out the rest of my days spending all my time grieving them? Or would they want me to go out and experience all the things they no longer had the opportunity to do?
So I've tried to look at the world as I imagine it through their eyes. I've tried to live as they would have - with wonder and enthusiasm.
It hasn't been easy. Grief raises it's ugly head. My own personal insanity brought on by the loss of the children hasn't been fun to deal with. Nervous breakdown, PTSD, depression, various anxiety disorders, etc.
My mother died 3 weeks ago. I take 300 mgs of Effexor XR, and I have added 125 mgs of Seroquel just so I can sleep at night. What I am feeling is not depression, it is grief. They are so totally different. But they are stress related so I understand where you are coming from.
My mom just died. She was 81 years old and doing well. She went to sleep and never woke up. I was there with my sister and father and I still think that we are in shock about what happened. My father has reached the stage where he is angry. He planned his entire life that he was going to die first and then my mom. He made all of the financial arrangements to benefit her and now she is gone. He's mad at her for not exercising more and not taking a baby aspirin every day. He isn't ready to accept the fact that she just died and it had nothing to do with any medication or exercise that she could have done. She outlived all of her siblings by 14 years.
It's not easy. It's never going to be easy but some days will be better than others. That's what I hope for. That's what I live for.
Hi Im new to using message board so bare with me.I lost my wonderful husband last year while living in Dubai.Yes everyone says it will get better but it doesnt. In fact ive learnt since that the second year is worse than the fitrst. Icant imagine ever being happy again.
I too lost my husband in Sept. 11.2007. I am sorry that we are all going through such terrible pain BUT life must go on!
Did you ever wonder WHY your mate died and you lived on? Well I have and I believe that the answer to that is; God still has work for us to do. I know that without GOD that there is NO way that I could live and go on with my life. BUT on the other hand "Why would anyone WANT to go on without Christ Jesus to hold our hand? I want to spend the rest of my life serving God in what ever way that I can.
Like Jason said We can either die right now OR we can choose to LIVE and make the best of what ever time that God gives us.
My husband was 73 when he died,he had Cirrohsis of the Liver and never drank in his life. He was the Pastor of our church. NOW how ironic is that?
His job was done ! BUT my job is not done,and I live each day in hopes that some how, someway God will show me what I need to do to serve him better.
People say I can't live without my mate BUT yes we can do anything through God who comforts us. You say OH he didn't comfort me but we have to humble ourselves and kneel at his feet and ASK him to comfort us. We are so full of the misery that Devil puts us through that we can't make room for Jesus Christ to come into our life to give us what is so pure and free,JUST for the asking. There is no cost !
Dear Lost Wanderer,
First, I am truly sorry for your loss. I posted here not too long ago because I lost my finace to brain cancer last summer and I took care of him for 10 months before he died. He was only 30 and the indignities he suffered haunt me. I too am tired of other people telling me that I should be feeling better and that I am too young to give up on life. I don't want my heart ripped out again either. I don't know what else to say except that I was moved by your post because what you wrote comes so close to how I feel- no one understands, no one can make it better and I am tired of people telling me that I will magically forget seeing someone too young to die suffer the way he did and that it will all be sunshine, lollipops and rainbows. I don't know if I will feel differently down the road, but I do know that right now I too have become a great fake to those around me who want me to be all better. I have been having more good days than bad and that is a blessing, but I so resent others trying to put pressure on me or convince me that I should be feeling differently than I am.I also understand your lack of access to support- I actually live in Olean and know how isolated you are in East Otto. I hope that this forum is of some comfort to you. I will start checking here more to see how you are doing.
I'm also getting sick of "it will get better," mainly because it hasn't. My husband died in late September. Now I look back at those first few weeks after he died with something like nostalgia. There's a good deal to be said for being numb and operating on auto pilot.
Although my circumstances were far different than yours, Lost..., at essence it's all the same. So painful and sad and lonely. I think that's the feeling I have most often--loneliness. And knowing I don't have my best friend and safe harbor to comfort my grief. Instead he's the person who's died and is not here.
At first I was struck by the fact so few people knew what to say to me, most avoided me or avoid speaking about his death. And absolutely no one said his name aloud. Which for me, made it all the sadder and more lonely. We'd been together more than 30 years--of course I still think and speak of him all the time.
Anyway, as the well-wishers continue to say "it will get better" I remember they have to say and think that, otherwise how could they stand knowing someday they'll also face the deaths of loved ones? Surely the whole phrase is designed to reassure themselves that it will get better, because if it didn't, what would inspire them, or us, to go on.
I try to be patient with all the advice. But it's not easy.