Sometimes I find that when I am by myself I really start to think about memories and what could have been. I so wish that I could here from my best friend that everything is going to be okay. She had such a way of saying things so that I would feel better. With the two of us being the same age, we understood each other. I really miss that understanding and acceptance. When I feel this way, it is really lonely and I feel empty inside. I really miss her. You don't know what you really have until it's gone. Life is not the same without her.
Just wanted to share some recent thoughts that I was having. Thanks for reading.
Last edited by scarletknight33; 04-14-2007 at 07:00 PM.
I know how you feel--it's the same way here--getting a little harder it'll be 1 year on May 10th that my mom was diagnosed with nsclc--and died on July 11th of last year. She was the rock of our family-to me it feels like we're separating-losing contact... Death is hard to deal with... guess I'm having a bad day.......Cherie
Grief can be extremely tough. When my wife died I lost my best friend. She knew things about me that I didn't even know or realize. I'm not exactly a social person so when God took her, I was completely alone. I was lost. Then I really got to know someone that changed all that. I no longer was alone and no longer felt like I was dieing inside. I got down on my knees one afternoon about three weeks after my wife died and gave it all to God. This was the worst day of my life. The shock of the accident wore off that day and it hit me so hard. I couldn't stop shaking and I was screaming at the top of my lungs. I was losing control big time. Clinging to God that day was a turning point in my grief. You see, no matter what happens to me in my life, I will never feel alone like I did that day. I realize now that he is always by my side. I am truly blessed and so thankful for such an awesome God. I can't wait to see my wife again, but more importantly I can't wait to see God face to face someday. What an awesome day that will be.
I really don't know where to begin. I am 60 years old. My husband is being investigated by the criminal IRS for tax evasion and embezzlement. He told me months ago that he wanted a divorce as he had fallen love with some else - but he did not want to do anything about the divorce until his indictment came down.(hello!! - could be prison and lots of money). I also found out through his threats that I will end up with nothing - much verbal abuse and passive-agressive behavior. I started to do research and found out everything he threatened me with was not true. So - I started divorce proceedings first (about 6 months ago). In the meantime - I have basically been in bed for one year after 4 operations. Left hip replacement - and 3 back operations - the last which was a back fusion.
The business is family owned and my father started it. My husband is CEO and all three of our boys are in the business. There has been a major breakup within the family - all against me.
I have been on a spiritual journey for years - but that didn't begin to help me with all the losses I am enduring in this moment. My parents are still alive - but have 24/7 hospice care. There ages are 97 and 92. They no longer know who I am.
I have 3 grandchildren and my daughter - in - law refuses me to see them and my son (I honor his choice) has gone to his wife and her huge family.
I think alot about just giving up.
I would appreciate any advice you may have for me. I am in a major depression and it is hard for me to find anything worthwhile doing.