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Old 04-17-2007, 09:18 PM   #1
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marcusjj HB User
Sudden loss of mother 5 years ago

Hello all.
I am currently a 21 year old male college student and I lost my mother when I was 16. To say the least, my mother died in a extremely tragic and sudden manner. She suffered from a ruptured brain aneurysm within an hour of showing symptoms. It ruptured and she lost her life in front of my father, brother, and I in our living room

I have had a very difficult time coping with this loss. My mother was the most important person to me in the world. We had a very close relationship. My Dad and I have never been close. We had many conflicts in my childhood involving many counseling sessions. I was diagnosed with ADHD in the third grade and my father had a drinking problem.

Can anyone relate to what I am feeling? After many years, I still feel extremely sad.

 
Old 04-18-2007, 12:47 PM   #2
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Re: Sudden loss of mother 5 years ago

My mom died Easter Sunday. She was my best friend. She was the one who listened and didn't judge. She was loved by so many people.

My dad is a good guy but he thinks that there is an answer to every question. So it's hard to talk to him.

My mother died in her sleep. We woke up Sunday morning and my sister went in to wake her up and she was gone. No one is ever prepared for this. No one can ever answer the question why.

But today was a good day. Today I haven't cried. Today I went to work and I helped other people.

And that is how I am going to get through the next few days, weeks and months. My mother would not have wanted to see me crying all over the place. My mother would have wanted me to keep going and to live my life. My mother is always with me. And she keeps me going.

Sara

 
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Old 04-22-2007, 09:54 PM   #3
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Re: Sudden loss of mother 5 years ago

Thanks for your story and help Sara. I find it really relaxing and reassuring to talk with someone who has gone through something similar to what I have been through. Even if its just over the internet, talking about it ALWAYS helps it seems. I try not to bottle up my emotions but sometimes it happens.

 
Old 05-13-2007, 10:10 PM   #4
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Thumbs up Re: Sudden loss of mother 5 years ago

I lost my mother 4.5 years....She died in a car crash during a relatively
rough storm...thankfully she died instantly...but nonetheless it was quite shocking. It seemed to hit me much later. I was 20 when she died, I'm twenty four now and things are rough...my father was an alcoholic...he's sober now but it's gone to his head. He's refused to pay the bills, and continues to lie to me about money, also leaving me with a house that nearly went into foreclosure; which he lives and and won't help chip in a dime unless I threaten his ***. I've went to see multiple therapists, over aggression towards my old man, but also for my lack of trust w/ friends and especially girlfriends. I have a pretty nice girl now, some of my closer friends say I'm crazy for thinking she's a liar...but I have sudden times when I feel a state of super anxiety, and that everyone's out to get me for some reason or another.. I sometimes wonder if this feeling is attributed to my mother's death. I'm obtaining my degree in accounting in about 2 months hoping to push my father out of my life for good if I can get him to sign the house but....for the time being it's quite a down feeling when it's mother's day and the sun's out, everyone's happy, and you don't have a mom to say hi to...I guess I got alot floating than just a lost mother but I try to remain in a positive light, though on the contrary I feel I am a pessimist at heart

 
Old 05-13-2007, 11:07 PM   #5
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Re: Sudden loss of mother 5 years ago

and go figure.....about 5 minutes after I wrote the last post my girlfriend shows up at my house, after driving an hour, and lays out she doesnt want to be with me because I cant trust her....on mother's day...sorry for the depressing story

 
Old 05-14-2007, 10:01 AM   #6
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Re: Sudden loss of mother 5 years ago

You need to be in therapy and possibly AlAnon for adult children of alcoholics. I understand the anger that you have but you have to find a safe outlet so you can get through this without doing something you could regret.

You also sound like you are depressed. That is not the least bit surprising. See if you can get some counseling first. You have a long road ahead of you.

Sara

 
Old 05-14-2007, 02:59 PM   #7
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Re: Sudden loss of mother 5 years ago

I am so sorry to hear what all of you are going through. I wish I read this yesterday because I was feeling especially alone when everyone was seeing their Mom, out enjoying a beautiful day. I lost my Mom four and a half years ago also and it was pretty sudden (to cancer she was diagnosed and died four months later). I have had a very hard time feeling at all safe in this world....my Mom was the one person who fought for me.....she was a den mother and though I am 32 sometimes I just feel like a vulnerable child. Everyone says that I should go to counseling and maybe I should but the one thing what will never change is that I have to get used to this world without her. I about lost it at work on Friday when I heard a co-worker on the phone with her Mom who had come to town to visit her and had already started dinner....my co-worker exclaimed "I cant wait to go home to my Mom and her cooking, it is the best!". I felt so sad, like I will never have that simple life when you go home to a Mom cooking. PT82 I am sorry about your loss and your girlfriends horrible timing- that should show you she is not right for you- terrible insensitivity. Take care ok?

Last edited by missbrit; 05-14-2007 at 03:04 PM.

 
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